Step 2: We came to believe that a power greater than outselves could
restore use to sanity.

February 16

Scripture reading for today: Acts 12

Can you believe what Acts 12 says? Amazing! As much as I want to spend some time discussing the issue of sanity (or the lack thereof) scripture continues to overwhelm us with the power of God.

Many miraculous experiences happened in the early church AND the early Christians faced all sorts of trials and tribulations. Does that remind anyone else of the process of recovery? Recently I experienced such a miraculous, Holy Spirit-filled evening in our Saturday night celebration service – it was awesome. I left the building satisfied with the past eight years of living and loving in a recovery community.

But with eight years has come a bigger view. I could tell you stories! Stories, that for me, represent: loss, heartbreak, betrayal, depression, helplessness, hopelessness, rage, disgust, despair – the list of trials and tribulations is long and varied. After a particularly difficult week one of my accountability partners reminded me that this wasn’t indentured servanthood – I could always quit. Another time this same friend suggested that if working with hurting people was so painful – perhaps I was doing something wrong and should work harder at the skill of “detachment”.

I suspect if I ran around sharing my miraculous, Holy Spirit-moving night, many would nod knowingly, assuring me that when ministries “get it right” – good things happen.

I have found that Acts twelve gives me a clearer view of what’s going on than my efforts at arm chair quarterbacking. The early believers were doing a lot of things right AND a lot of things wrong (don’t forget Ananias and Sapphira). Peter got locked in the slammer – facing a certain death BUT God set him free (a good thing). Peter couldn’t believe that he was really free, nor could his friends (all of whom had been praying for this very freedom). Is that bad that they didn’t believe God would hear their prayers and answer with Peter’s freedom? When Peter realized he was truly free, he scurried off to his friends’ house. Rhoda, hearing Peter’s voice, ran to the door overjoyed but instead of answering she ran back inside and told everyone of Peter’s arrival – they called her crazy, insane, loco. They even found it easier to believe his angel was at the door than Peter in the flesh. Eventually everyone gathered their wits and rescued Peter from the front stoop. (Read it – you’ll love it!)

As we keep reading we see that Herod, because of his response to some delegates from other towns (who were there to flatter and regain his favor), gets consumed with worms and dies. (If you want to see what Herod did that I personally think was worthy of a good worm eating, you may want to read Part 3 of Finding Our Way back to God.) This guy had done a lot of really bad things. Why was this the thing that was worm worthy?

So “coming to believe” is still mysterious to me. Great miracles mixed with enormous trials while mere mortals sit around and try to make sense out of the mighty working of God. Maybe one of the best things that could happen to any of us during this month in step two would be to stop trying to figure out what God’s up to all the time, and instead, try to figure out what it means to live out our true, God-created selves every moment of every day. Finding our way back to God is an experience not unlike the early Christians lived – wild and mysterious, miraculous and debilitating, delightful and discouraging – all rolled up in a messy stew of living large.

Thought for today: Part of the insanity in how we live is the way we rush to make value judgments. Am I having a Holy Spirit moment because it makes me happy, or because I recognize the voice of God – even in the midst of discouragement and despair? Coming to believe doesn’t promise us a pain free existence. Our level of pain doesn’t always indicate the “rightness” or the “wrongness” of how we’re living. Sometimes pain is our friend, because we are trying a new way that while uncomfortable, is much more “right” than our old way of living.

Thought for tomorrow: The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all; he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken. Evil will slay the wicked; the foes of the righteous will be condemned. The Lord redeems his servants; no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him . Psalm 34:18-22 NIV

February 16
Teresa McBean

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