Announcements
The Latest and Greatest
WE’VE MOVED!
You can now find us on Sunday mornings at 1213 Porter St. There is a parking lot less than a block from the church. Enter the building on 13th street by using the door at the top of the accessibility ramp.
We still get started at 9:30 am (8:30am if you want to join the men’s or women’s groups) and we’d still love to see you.
Thursday Night Topic for March 31: How to Help Your Loved One Change
If you have a loved one who struggles with substance use, you may be familiar with this...
Sometimes your loved one seems unhappy with their situation but unable to take meaningful steps to change. It can be maddening for family and friends who love them. What's holding them back? Are there things we can do to help?
This Thursday, Denise Carl is going to lead a convo on some of the hurdles to consider and how we might minimize those obstacles and help our loved ones get past them.
Join us on Thursday, March 31st, at 6:30 EDT via Zoom: https://vcu.zoom.us/j/299427496
Thursday Night Topic for March 17: How to Set Boundaries
Attention Thursday night Family & Friends Education Group People! (Quite a title, right?)
Here's your info for this week.
Peter Pennington will be discussing the question: How Do I Set Boundaries With a Loved One?
Many family members hope their loved one finds recovery and happiness. This often comes at the family's expense, regardless of whether the loved one wants help or not. We will define boundaries, discuss how boundaries may vary depending on family dynamics and values systems, and how to express these boundaries with clarity and love.
Peter Pennington is a treatment placement specialist with Acadia Healthcare representing Eastern Virginia helping people find access to treatment.
Thursday night. 6:30. Via Zoom: at 6:30 pm: https://vcu.zoom.us/j/299427496
Thursday Night Topic for March 3: Communicating Hard Truths with Love
One of the things we all struggle with is finding ways to voice concerns, make requests, communicate decisions, and set boundaries while simultaneously communicating our deep love, concern, and even appreciation for our loved ones.
Doing any two things at once isn't easy- let alone two things as difficult as setting a boundary and communicating love. But it is possible.
Join us on Thursday as Scott McBean guides a conversation on how we can learn to say and do hard things from a place of kindness. He's also going to say a word or two about what this looks like when setting up a recovery contract with your loved one- so if you're thinking about a contract- this is a good time to tune in.
Scott McBean has a Master's in Mental Health Counseling from VCU, is a Nationally Certified Counselor, and believes in you.
Thursday night. 6:30. Via Zoom: at 6:30 pm: https://vcu.zoom.us/j/299427496
Thursday Night Topic for February 24: The Continuum of Care
Tom Bannard will be speaking on ways to increase the amount of time our loved ones are receiving care...because this is a key factor in getting longer term sobriety outcomes. Here's more info about the topic in Tom's words:
One of the most robust predictors of success in substance use disorder treatment is length of engagement. Unfortunately, our continuum of care is front loaded with expensive inpatient services while long term support services are often lacking. Families can play a critical role in expanding the length and depth of care through resource identification, leverage, and clear expectations. Join us as we explore the different levels of care and what is appropriate for different situations.
Thursday night. 6:30. Via Zoom: at 6:30 pm: https://vcu.zoom.us/j/299427496
Sunday Service is BACK
Just a quick reminder- NSC's Sunday morning worship is back open starting tomorrow February 20th.
It's been a while- so in case you forgot, we meet at 9:30 am.
And- we'll be talking about positive faith. In particular, we'll be looking at some of the traits of God that often get overlooked. But, when we know to look for them, they can transform how we view our relationship to our faith.
Thursday Night Topic for February 17: The Power of Belief
One of the things you’ve (probably) been told about dealing with a loved one with a substance use issue is that you can’t trust them to make good choices about their lives. Because you’ve been taught that, you’ve (probably) spent a lot of time and effort trying to make sure your loved one doesn’t have the opportunity to make any decisions. And, because you’ve done that, my guess is you’re exhausted.
Here’s the thing. Your loved one, I’m quite sure, has gotten themselves into trouble and done some things that might not be in their best long-term interests. This doesn’t mean, however, that they can’t figure out what they need in order to get sober. In fact, it’s really important to include them in the planning process.
This Thursday Scott McBean is going to show you some research that backs up these bold claims and he will show us how belief and confidence in, and hope for, your loved one are key parts of the recovery process.
Thursday night. 6:30. Via Zoom: at 6:30 pm: https://vcu.zoom.us/j/299427496
Thursday Night Topic: February 10
Your loved one's addiction behaviors make sense. Yes, you read that right. They don't make sense to you, of course, we get it. In fact, the lack of sense they make is likely one of your biggest frustrations. But, when you know what to look for, not only will you understand their behavior but you'll quite likely find your mind and heart opening up to them.
Linda Hancock is going to help us take a breath and think a little more carefully about this, because struggling to understand the cunning and baffling disease of addiction is an important part of healing.
Thursday night. 6:30. Via Zoom: at 6:30 pm: https://vcu.zoom.us/j/299427496
Thursday Night Friends & Family February 3: Setting Your Family up for Success
Hey all!
Although everyone's experience with a loved one who struggles with a substance use disorder is unique, there are themes that run through our experiences. And, there are also things all of us can do to put ourselves in the best position to help our loved one and OURSELVES during this journey.
Join us this week as we discuss some of the issues that often sneak up on us or that we miss - as well as some of those that are obvious - that we need to address. More importantly, we will discuss a framework to use to help craft a plan to address these issues so that we can be our best selves and better equipped to help our loved one on this recovery path.
Join Denise Carl on Thursday, January 27th, at 6:30 via Zoom to learn more: https://vcu.zoom.us/j/299427496
Thursday Night Friends & Family January 27: Using the Stages of Change to Increase Helpfulness
Hey all!
Building off of Scott’s discussion last week about the Stages of Change model, this week we will delve further into what our role may be during the various stages. In trying to help a loved one move towards sobriety, it is important not just to recognize what stage they are in but also what stage we are in. This may help us to understand how we sometimes get in the way when we are really trying to help.
Sometimes we are tempted to take over and control the process. Others may tell us that there is nothing we can do. Maybe there is someplace in between where we can be helpful and supportive.
No matter what stage of change we think our loved one is in, what are some things we might do to help them become curious about the next stage? How can we put our energy to the best use as we struggle to hold on to patience and hope?
Join Barbara Burke on Thursday, January 27th, at 6:30 via Zoom to learn more: https://vcu.zoom.us/j/299427496
About Barbara: She received her MSW from the VCU School of Social Work in 1978 and most of her work over the past 40 years has been with Substance Use Disorders. She is retired from clinical practice, where she specialized in the assessment, early intervention and treatment of Adolescents and Young Adults. She has taught “Substance Abuse” and “Coping and Adaptation” for the VCU School of Kinesiology and Health Sciences and has served as a consultant to area schools and colleges.
Barbara is an experienced presenter and has been providing training to the community, professional organizations and schools for many years. She is the co-founder of “Rams in Recovery”, a Collegiate Recovery Program at VCU where she serves on the project team and it’s advisory board. Barbara believes in the importance of family involvement and meeting folks where they are. Her focus has been on helping young people understand their relationship with substances and their risk factors for dependence in order to make responsible decisions. She stresses the importance of respect and healthy communication for everyone in the conversation.
Thursday Night Friends & Family January 20: Appreciating the Change Process
Hey all!
When you see your loved one continuing to use despite relationship problems, family problems, work problems, legal problems, and so on, it's…discouraging. That might be the understatement of the century, especially when this goes on so long it doesn't seem like anything is ever going to change.
But- let's face it: Change is hard. It takes time. And, when it comes to your loved one, making the change towards sobriety is not one change. Sobriety is the product of a number of changes that are sustained over time.
Why am I telling you all this? This week in our Friends & Family Education group we're going to be discussing the change process.
We're going to be talking about why it's difficult for your loved one to change, but we are also going to talk about some of the intermediate changes that might be happening in their lives that let you see that change is happening before the change has happened.
What I mean by that is this: Your loved one is likely making moves towards sobriety before you recognize it. Through our conversation, you'll learn some new things to look for so that you can recognize some of the incremental changes your loved one makes on the path to sobriety. When you can see those things, you can sleep a little easier knowing that good things are happening and having confidence that your loved one is finding their way.
Join Scott McBean on Thursday, January 20th, at 6:30 via Zoom to learn more: https://vcu.zoom.us/j/299427496
Thursday Night Friends & Family January 13: Skills for being MORE helpful to your loved one.
Hey all!
When it comes to dealing with a loved one in pre-recovery, you are often scared and confused and you desperately want to help, but your best efforts seem to backfire. The good news is- there are concrete things you can do to improve the quality of your support and to improve the likelihood that they will engage with you.
Join Teresa McBean on Thursday, January 13th, at 6:30 via Zoom to learn more: https://vcu.zoom.us/j/299427496
Thursday Night Family Education Program January 6, 2022
Hey all!
We all know what it’s like to be trapped in a conversation where someone is coming at us with a lot of “energy.” They’re upset, they’re unloading you, you don’t know where this is coming from, and you really don’t know the “right” way to respond. Just to put you at ease- there is no “right” way- but there are some things you can try that might help prevent the situation from reaching an absolute fever pitch.
This Thursday Scott McBean will be talking about those exact things- aka, positive communication skills to use in “toxic moments.”
Join us this Thursday at 6:30 pm via Zoom: https://vcu.zoom.us/j/299427496
Sunday Morning Service: ONLINE ONLY as of January 2.
Hey all-
(Too long didn't read: We're temporarily moving our Sunday service back to Zoom ONLY starting THIS week- January 2. We will continue to re-evaluate weekly).
We're continuing to monitor COVID numbers and their implications. We continue to try to discern what it looks like to keep the most people safe we can while still finding ways to live together, honor God together, grow together, and more.
COVID has been a super complicated virus to make sense of- for some, it's relatively minor, for others, deadly. This is why it's so hard to figure out what is both appropriately cautious and sensible simultaneously.
All that said, the new variant is raising infection numbers at high rates. To be quite honest, we don't yet know what it all means- but we're choosing caution.
So, starting this Sunday, our weekly service is going back to being online ONLY.
I want to close with a request- if you can still join us online, please try. We know, it isn't easy. It isn't the same. The vibe is different. It's harder to connect. We miss the music. And so on. We will do everything we can to try to make it the best experience we can. We will try new things. And we are open to ideas.
It's so important for us to continue to try to connect, especially when we're apart. This is an opportunity for all of us to show up and do something difficult together.
So many times people have told me things like, "So-and-so said such-and-such in the service a few months back and it has totally changed my life."
I kid you not- this happens all the time and you may not even know it. You may not know the impact you have on someone else's life- whether it's with a simple comment, or even a simple prayer request. Your presence matters. I promise. This is true even if you don't say anything at all- people get hope from seeing others' faces. From seeing your face.
So, please, for the sake of others, keep showing up.
Zoom Links for ALL Groups
Wednesday
Women’s Group at 6:30 pm : https://zoom.us/j/896535284
Meeting ID: 896-535-284
Thursday
Family Education at 6:30 pm: https://vcu.zoom.us/j/299427496
Sunday
Worship and Community at 9:30 am: https://zoom.us/j/613955597
Meeting ID: 613-955-597
Christmas Service: Wednesday December 22nd
Hey all,
Just a reminder that our annual Christmas service will meet this year on Wednesday December 22nd at 6pm.
It will be quiet and contemplative. There will be a few songs, a few readings, and some time for quiet reflection.
If that sounds like your bag- then it probably is- and you should probably join us.
COVID Update: Omicron Edition
Below is a message from our COVID response team as continue to try to keep NSC as healthy as possible:
Friends,
As most of us are aware Covid infections and deaths have risen substantially since Thanksgiving and the Omicron variant has been found to be as many as 70 times more transmissible than previous strains.
In an effort to keep yourself and others safe we strongly urge everyone to wear a mask while attending Northstar services, even if you’re fully vaccinated and have received a booster.
As we continue to monitor the spread of Covid as well as information and guidelines released by the CDC and local health departments we may need to take additional steps to assure the safety of our community.
Thank you for your willingness to assist in this effort.
We know that responses to COVID vary. In the spirit of community, we also just ask for everyone to try to rise above the temptation to make disparaging remarks about others and their choices- and to try to keep contempt out of our conversations as much as possible. We are all people- we are all making the choices that we see fit to make based on each of our own certain ways of seeing.
The greatest test of our faith is if we can honor and respect each other when we DON'T feel like it. I seem to remember Jesus saying something like, "If you love those who love you, that's well and good, but it's easy. We're called to do the hard stuff."
Let's do the hard stuff. You can do it.
No Service on December 26th!
We have chosen NOT to meet next Sunday the 26th. Attendance is usually down on holiday weekends anyway so this will just be an opportunity to give yourself permission to spend more time with your family (or whoever, doing whatever).
Models of Addiction: Family Education Program 12/9/21
Hey all!
Articles pop up constantly talking about addiction as a disease- and the importance of treating it the same way we would any other medical condition.
There are a lot of really good reasons to view addiction as a disease- most of which help us de-stigmatize substance use which helps us create a stronger support network around loved ones.
However, the disease model is NOT the only model that exists that helps us understand and process addiction. There are a number of models- and each one has its strengths and weaknesses.
On Thursday night at 6:30 pm in our Family Education program (Zoom only) we will talk in general terms about the various models and what they have to offer- hope to see you there!
Zoom link: https://vcu.zoom.us/j/299427496
Thursday Night Family Education Program 12/2/21
Hey all!
This Thursday Teresa McBean will be talking about skill sets for managing anxiety when you’re with your family over the holidays. We know, we know, no one is ever stressed with their families! :-)
Join us this Thursday at 6:30 pm via Zoom: https://vcu.zoom.us/j/299427496