NorthStar Community - Celebrating Recovery, Relationships and Renewal

Week 2 - Day 1

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Psalm 23

I shall not be in want. (NIV)
I don’t need a thing. (The Message)
Psalm 23:1

I shall not be in want. I shall not be in want. Can you imagine never being in want? Before we get into a discussion about not being in want, let’s review. “The Lord is my shepherd…” is the precursor to “I shall not be in want.” Think of the first verse of Psalms like an “If…then” statement. Verse one reframed: If the Lord is my shepherd, then I shall not be in want. This state of satisfaction and contentment does not come with a pair of ruby red slippers like Dorothy wore in The Wizard of Oz. We can’t just click our heels together and hope that all our needs will be met. If I am to be a person who is not in a perpetual state of “wanting,” then I better figure out what it means to follow the good shepherd.

Spend a few minutes thinking about what you need versus what you want. If you’re really industrious, try jotting down two columns – one labeled ‘needs,’ the other ‘wants.’ Now quiet yourself, and invite God to speak to you about this list. Ask Him for His perspective on your needs and wants. Give yourself permission to see your life in a radically different light. Ask God what He’s up to. Listen for His response. As your day speeds by, be alert to the movement of God. Is he meeting needs that you didn’t even know you had? Is he saying “No” to some of your perceived needs, so that He will be able to say “Yes” to your profound needs (even those not yet identified by you)? If you remember, thank Him tonight for his gracious provision for you today – especially those things that He did on your behalf of which you are still unaware.

My parents did a lot of things well. But they did some things GREAT. Under this category falls the celebration of Christmas. No matter what (seasons of financial feast or famine) - Santa didn’t skimp at the Jones’ house. When Santa has an excellent track record for delivering the goods, kids get pretty excited. We couldn’t wait for Santa to come. We were so excited on Christmas Eve that my parents had to go to great lengths to keep us in bed – at least for a few hours. Eventually my weary parents would drop off to sleep. One of the kids would rouse the others and the four of us would bolt for the Christmas tree. This was usually around four in the morning. I cannot think of a Christmas when my every need and want was not met. (There was that time when Santa left the light on my bike and the batteries ran out and were never replaced. I’m almost over that.)

But here’s the thing about needs and wants. They keep changing. As passionately as I longed for the Barbie doll playhouse, the ten speed bike, the desk set with a blotter in pink, the doll that was practically alive, the new clothes, the new books, the jewelry, etc….was it enough? Did a time come when I said, “Hey, folks, enough is enough. Last year, I got all I needed. This year, make sure Santa knows – I am not in want. “ That never happened. Every year brings a new set of needs and wants. But this passage says that I shall not be in want. So what does this mean?

For today, take a few minutes and ask God to show you how He is meeting your every need. Ask for the discernment to recognize His loving hand of provision in your life. Begin a gratitude list. Review it each day. Add new items worthy of gratitude as the Lord brings them to your mind.

Week 2 - Day 3

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Psalm 23

I shall not be in want. (NIV)
I don’t need a thing. (The Message)
Psalm 23:1

“I shall not be in want.” The Hebrew word in this passage for ‘want’ is ‘haser’. Literally, it means “to lack, be without, decrease, be lacking, have a need."* A possible paraphrase is - “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not lack – I shall not be without – I shall not decrease – I shall not be lacking – I shall not have a need.” Wow. That’s a big deal.

Early this morning, long before the sun peaked through my windows, my phone rang. A distraught parent had just heard from the police. Their precious daughter was in jail. This is her third DUI. She’s twenty three years old, a single mother, and an alcoholic. “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not lack.” These parents are wondering how to apply this scripture as they deal with some very tough issues.

Last week a young woman showed up in my office after a busy weekend. She’d wiped out her college fund that just a few short months ago had a significant amount of money. This money symbolized the hopes and dreams of her family. For them it spelled future, and sacrifice. It’s all gone. She spent it on drugs. Her parents don’t know about the missing money, the drugs, or the ‘wanting’ of this young woman. They’re still thinking that they are a family who is not in want. They’d tell you they have everything they need – the perfect family. "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be without.” Soon these parents are going to wonder how to apply this scripture to their perfectly need-less life.

A few weeks ago my friend Sherry was struggling with a son who is driving her to distraction. He’s messing up; she’s trying to get it right as a parent - hard stuff. Sherry says, “I feel so alone.” I know she follows the good shepherd. And yet she wants – her son to straighten out, her husband to continue to offer her support and encouragement, her friends to surround her, her church to uplift her. She’s working hard to figure out how to apply this scripture.

“I shall not be in want.” Don’t take it lightly. It’s a simple phrase, but not satisfying if viewed from a simplistic mindset. My friend Sherry, the follower of the good shepherd, expressed her perception of want – to her husband, to her friends, and to her church community. As she asked, she received. She was reminded that although she felt alone, the truth was, she was not alone. She had her husband, her friends, and her NorthStar Community. This is one special lady, because her next choice proved pivotal. She still felt alone. But she chose to trust the process of following. Sherry chose to believe that she was not alone. She allowed her community to show her a new way of believing, thinking, and trusting. I didn’t know for awhile how this made her feel. Nor was that the point. She was choosing to follow.

The story doesn’t end with Sherry; just as your story doesn’t end with you! Today, another precious woman called me and said, “I feel so alone.” I listened to her story. The longer I listened, the more I discovered that she was expressing a feeling, not a fact. She was not alone. So with fear and trepidation I ventured an observation, “It sounds to me like you’re feeling alone, but you’ve given me several examples that indicate that in fact, you are not alone.” Silence.

“You are right.” (I love those words.) She proceeded to give me another example. She told me about a girlfriend who had told her, “You are not alone. You have me. You have your NorthStar Community. We’ll get through this together.” Guess who spoke those words of comfort? Sherry.

Was Sherry’s sense of loneliness real? Did she have a need, a want, a lacking? If so, could it be that even in the need, the want, the lacking, the Father’s gracious hand was providing? Did God allow her a moment of longing, so that in a few weeks she could experience the joy of compassionate caring for another who also felt alone?

As we conclude our time together, ask God to show you His hand in your life. What we feel, what we want, what we desire, what we perceive we lack, fluctuates. One time I dreamed that a Barbie doll house would satisfy my every longing. But times have changed. What hasn’t changed is the very nature and character of God. Ask Him to reveal His presence to you today. Perhaps today is the day you’ll begin to realize that even your unmet desires are part of a bigger picture, a grander purpose, an epic adventure that yet awaits you.

My God will meet all your needs, according to His riches in glory.

* Hebrew Dictionary (electronic ed.)

I shall not be in want. (NIV)
I don’t need a thing. (The Message)
Psalm 23:1

“I shall not be in want.” Can you articulate what you want and need, or are you like me? Every Sunday after church my family sits down to a good old-fashioned family dinner – at the restaurant of our choice! Getting to the restaurant is the hardest part of our day. It goes like this –

Then, someone (never me) suggests a restaurant. This is followed by all the protests from the family members who don’t want to eat there; these are the same family members who didn’t know or care about our restaurant choice just moments ago. I never enter that discussion. I really don’t know where I want to eat. I just go where the crowd takes me.

When we don’t know what we need or want - when we are living as if we are “needless” and “want-less” – something is not right. Pia Mellody has written a wonderful book (which I highly recommend) called Facing Codependence. In this book she offers insights that are both profound and true about how we find ourselves in a state of want-lessness.

Even newborns have a way of expressing a need – they cry. No one is confused when a healthy baby is in a state of want. We may not know the exact need, but we will go to any lengths to discover it and rectify the situation. That’s healthy. But what if that scenario is not normal? What if the baby is left to cry for hours on end? What if wet diapers aren’t changed regularly? What if hunger isn’t addressed consistently? What if this state continues? What if a young child is told to "Shut up!” or “Don’t feel that way” or “You’re wrong to think that Daddy doesn’t love you. Daddy loves you, but sometimes he can’t help himself. That’s why he hits you so hard.” What if our every thought, feeling, need, and want is ignored? Will we learn to trust our instincts? Will we learn how to name our true emotions, our deepest desires, our basic needs? And if we can name them, have we experienced a life that leads us to reasonably expect that they will be met?

Not caring where you eat is no big deal if your family can be trusted to choose wisely. But not being able to recognize your wants and needs – that’s a big deal. Today, make a conscious choice to think about what you want and what you need. Pay attention to the hand of God moving in mysterious ways to provide for you. Remember my friend Sherry, too. Ask God, “Are you allowing me to have a feeling of unmet need to prepare me to compassionately connect with someone else in a similar situation? Lord, show me the way you’d have me go.” Amen

I shall not be in want. (NIV)
I don’t need a thing. (The Message)
Psalm 23:1

Sherry gave us a lot to consider. A faithful follower of the good shepherd, she had the nerve to express her wanting, her needing, her desiring – she said, “I feel alone.” Not even a half-hearted listener could miss the implications. She felt alone, but she longed for community. She desired a family that would love her unconditionally and support her unequivocally. She was having a rough time, and it felt bad. In her misery, she wanted company.

There’s a guy named Paul. Historians tell us that he wrote a number of the books in the Bible, including I and II Corinthians. I think Paul knows what Sherry is talking about.

Sometimes we cry out, like a newborn baby, and it seems that no one hears. Worse, we conclude that no one cares. What if there is more going on in our lives than we can know? What if there’s a larger purpose, a grander adventure, a greater “YES!” awaiting us – but for now, on this day – we must wait.

It is on days like this that it helps to remember, “The Lord is my shepherd.” The question that remains – will you follow? I hope today you will take a moment and speak of your wants and needs to the Father. Having come clean with the unmet desires of your heart, I pray that you will be willing to stick around and trust Him for the answer

I shall not be in want. (NIV)
I don’t need a thing. (The Message)
Psalm 23:1

Have you ever met someone who was perpetually perky? Aren’t they annoying? Don’t get me wrong, I like perky when perky fits the bill. But sometimes people are perky for the sake of perkiness. They are simply inauthentic. It’s like artificial sweetener – it leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

I don’t think the writer of the twenty third Psalm is suggesting that we take perky pills. I’ve read the rest of the Psalms, and some of them are decidedly NOT perky. But he is hinting at something. I believe he’s alluding to contentment. Contentment is sometimes perky and sometimes not. Contentment is a state of ease that defies clichéd answers.

I have a friend who I consider to be a content person. She’s got a calm about her that isn’t tied to circumstance; that kind of peace gets my attention. I used to wonder about her ability to be completely present in the moment. I admit it – I figured she had a maid, a cook, and a nanny. I assumed all her financial needs were provided for bountifully. I speculated that she was deeply in love with her husband – who also happened to be the man of her dreams. I pictured her parents as practically perfect. I imagined her having long, loving conversations on a regular basis with her adoring siblings. I just knew her kids were delightful honor roll students who picked up after themselves and always said “please” and “thank you.” Then I got to know her.

I’ve spent enough time with her to realize that every single one of my daydreams concerning my friend’s stress-free life were wrong. But I was right about one thing – that woman knows how to be content! So what’s the secret to her contentment?

Her secret is out. She wasn’t born into a state of contentment. She didn’t acquire it through a series of fortunate events. She learned it. Quite simply, that gal learned how to find contentment. She discovered it as she practiced following the good shepherd. Are you content? Ask God to teach you how. Start by following Him.

I shall not be in want. (NIV)
I don’t need a thing. (The Message)
Psalm 23:1

Do you doubt that you will ever live a contented life? Does it seem unattainable? I truly understand if you answer both of these questions with a resounding “YES!” I can relate. There was a time in my life when I doubted if contentment was possible – for me. I had graduated from a prestigious school that was supposed to snag me the job of my dreams. I got a job that was very un-dreamy – because I could type. I was married to the man of my dreams – but being married was not as easy or as satisfying as I had expected. My family was living far away; my friends were scattered; my apartment was dreary. My husband and I were attending a great church, but to tell you the truth, it increased my discomfort. I felt like I was the only one in the room who didn’t know why there was an Old and New Testament (Is the New Testament a revised version of the Old?). People turned right to the scriptures the teacher asked them to find (or so it seemed to me). I just didn’t get this God stuff. If I were laying all the cards on the table, I’d have to tell you that I believed that this was my fault – a state of perpetual lacking that would never go away. Then I had a God moment.

Totally unsupervised, I was reading through my Bible. Here’s what I found. “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” Jeremiah 33:3 NIV

Wow. So I called. I took Him at his word, and I simply called. I explained (as if He needed it) that I was coming to realize that there was an awful lot I didn’t know. I hedged my honesty a bit with a clarification – I was smart, I said. I knew a lot. But I was coming to believe that I didn’t understand the really important things of life – like how it worked, and why wasn’t I content, and was this all there is to life?

The following Sunday my Pastor preached on this verse: “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.” Jeremiah 29:13-14 NIV

And so I began. I just started seeking – for the sake of seeking. I laid out no grand expectations and had no demands for immediate results. I didn’t know it then nor did I realize it for years. But what happened to me during that time was the wooing of God. He drew me to him, and by His grace, I followed. Would you allow Him to woo you today? Make today a day when the Lord is your shepherd, and you choose to follow.