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 Listen to the message
Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, doesn't have a swelled head, doesn't force itself on others, isn't always "me first," doesn't fly off the handle, doesn't keep score of the sins of others, doesn't revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end. Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 The Message
The Many Splendored Ways Love Goes Wrong
Pia Mellody’s theory for love gone wrong - the problem lies in our inability to have a healthy relationship – not with others, but with ourselves. This is hard to hear when we have the belief that others cause our pain. Here are her five symptoms of codependence (See Pia Mellody, A. Miller and J. Keith Miller, Facing Codependence ( San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1989),
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Difficulty loving self. Difficulty protecting oneself. Difficulty identifying who one is and knowing how to share that appropriately with others. Difficulty with self-care.
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Difficulty being appropriate for one’s age and various circumstances.
Addicted To Love
In Mellody’s book, Facing Love Addiction, she draws an interesting distinction between the codependent and the love addicted. Here are three characteristics she uses to summarize the loved addicted.
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Love Addicts focus obsessively on the person to whom they are addicted – to the detriment of themselves.
Love Addicts have unrealistic expectations - expecting unconditional positive regard.
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Love Addicts neglect to care for or value themselves.
Grieving Lost Love
Listen to my prayer, O God, do not ignore my plea; hear me and answer me. My thoughts trouble me and I am distraught at the voice of the enemy; at the stares of the wicked; for they bring down suffering upon me and revile me in their anger.
My heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of death assail me. Fear and trembling have beset me; horror has overwhelmed me. I said, “Oh that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest – I would flee far away and stay in the desert; I would hurry to my place of shelter; far from the tempest and storm.” If my enemy were insulting me I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me; I could hide from him. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked with the throng at the house of God. Let death take my enemies by surprise; let them go down alive to the grave, for evil finds lodging among them. But I call to God, and the Lord saves me. Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress and he hears my voice.
Psalm 55:1-8, 12-17
Our home study groups are studying “Recovery from Broken Relationships” by Dale and Juanita Ryan. This week they will consider the story of Bill and Dan – two friends who became bitter enemies. This psalm is David’s heartfelt cry to God about his situation – a time when Saul, a mentor and dear friend, turned on David, and became a threat to his very existence. I’m wondering if you can relate. It is my prayer that you will ask God to speak to you about your broken relationships, and reveal His perspective even as He offers comfort and healing. May today be the day you draw nearer to God’s big dreams for you…
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