I am ready to be approached by those who do not study me, ready to be found by those who do not seek me. I say, “I am here, I am here” to people who do not even invoke my name.” Isaiah 65:1
Having had a spiritual awakening in middle school, once we moved to Richmond, VA my spirituality got sleepy and fell into an exhausted slumber. Without the support of the friend and her family to gently guide me toward the light, I floundered and soon gave up on God.
That of course did not preclude God from continuing to love on me. I can name a hundred little encounters with folks that could have stirred my consciousness, but I had gotten busy taking care of myself. This meant I needed to provide for my own sense of security and approval in the world. In 1973 my world was Midlothian High School and that was my battle ground.
As prom chairman that year, my friends seemed concerned that I get a date and of course, I wanted to go. So when I guy I hardly knew, a Senior who some considered quite a catch asked me out I said yes. I was not interested in him in any way except for this one thing: he was going to the prom driving his dad’s purple Corvette. I LOVED that car. I cannot tell you how many stores I went to until I found the perfect dress, really cute by 1973 standards, to match that car. I went to great lengths and it cost me a pretty penny. I made less than $1.50 an hour and I spent over $100 on that dress. If you are a math person, you can figure out the cost per hour. But if you are not, let me bottom line this for you: I made a commitment.
Sometimes when I am particularly disappointed in my lack of progress in the change department (much less transformation), I ask myself: How committed am I to surrendering to the process of spiritual transformation? Am I committed when there is a big crisis and I need a bunch of support? Am I committed when I am afraid a big crisis looms ahead for me or the ones I love? Am I committed when life is going along AOK and is even a little boring? Am I committed when it is inconvenient, annoying, or requires something of me that disrupts my habits that promise to soothe my jangled nerves? Am I committed when the follow through is difficult and taxing? Am I as committed to the process of transformation and my part in it as I was to that purple dress?