The lovely luncheon with the lady who was languishing in old, stuck patterns did not have all those wonderful supportive opportunities growing up with an alcoholic father and a mentally ill mother. If she had, then getting stuck would have been less likely.
When we experience encouragement, validation, support and all the other wonderful qualities of living in a reasonably healthy family, we tend to grow up becoming our own motivator. We can rely less on others to tell us who we are and what to do and instead, have more clarity about our own dreams and capabilities. This is important for realistic goal setting.
I regret not being a private investigator or maybe a detective. I wish I had pursued my dream to become a doctor and go on to do brain research in an attempt to figure out how we humans work. I THINK I had some ability to be athletically strong, if not particularly graceful, and I wish I had been given the opportunity at an early age to test that theory. It didn’t happen.
Today, I understand why I wasn’t particularly dream-oriented in my twenties - I was in survival mode. But by the time I was in my 30’s, I had acquired mentors, a husband who believed in me, and a best friend who thought I was capable. I would say that I had some catching up to do, but I plugged away at it and today I am not only reasonably happy but completely passionate about my calling and my opportunities to dream and dare to participate with my tribe in trying to make the world a better place.
I swing for the fences sometimes - and it’s true - rarely has my ball made it over the far wall. But I’m ok with that. Because I am realistic. I keep messing up, but I do NOT keep messing up in the same way! This, my friends, is the best I can do and I am ok with that.
How about you? No support? Maybe you are hanging out with the wrong people. This is a problem that you can solve. You can change who you hang out with. I encouraged my lunch date to think about who she was allowing to speak into her life. I invited her to change the dance by changing her dance partners. It really helped me and I do not think I am unique.
May you remember your dreams, your limitations, and your capacity. May you push yourself a bit more than you are comfortable. May you trust God to provide for the gap between what you think you need and what you believe you have at your disposal. Now, go take on the day!