It turns out that people get stuck when they believe that they are the victim in a situation - helpless and hopeless. This is rarely true. Victimized? You bet. Happens all the time. The world can be a jungle and we can get badly hurt. Victimization is when we are (objectively) hurt as a result of someone else's misdeeds.
But if we take on the identify of victim (victimhood) - part of that is our responsibility to stop.
When we act like we are victims, then we make a fatal mistake: we give up our freedom to act in our own best interest. Look, if you are one of those people who has been victimized, you have suffered enough. Do NOT add insult to injury by allowing a past hurt to define you.
Here’s what we can DO:
* Act in our own best interest - this is not selfishness, this is self-care. This does not preclude us from being kind and generous and giving. But we are our own best advocates and we must act accordingly.
* Live consistently within our own core values. This is hard work. It means we have to decide for ourselves what those values and OWN them. I have a friend who is working too many hours and drinking too much in order to fit in with the young up and comers at work. This is not who this guy fundamentally wants to be. He doesn’t realize it yet, but his wife is getting increasingly unhappy with him. He is making a fear-based decision that is going to create big problems in the long run. And it in no way guarantees that his work productivity will improve just because he is mastering the fine art of the bar crawl. I think he might want to consider looking for a company to work in that fits his core values. He is stuck, afraid this is his only option.
* Think about consequences without getting overly concerned with what others think. (See the example above.)
* Figure out that it is human to make mistakes but divine to accept responsibility for our problems and without judgment or blaming others learn from them!
If you didn’t grow up learning these things, it is never too late to learn them today!