Resentments, Fears, and Sex

The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous suggests focusing on three areas when completing an inventory: resentments, fears and sex. Those are the big three.

The first list is dealing with resentments. The Big Book describes this process for making the list: “In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper. We listed people, institutions or principles with whom we are angry. We asked ourselves why we were angry. In most cases it was found that our self-esteem, our pocket-books, our ambitions, our personal relationships (including sex) were hurt or threatened.”

Because you may have a journal full of feelings, resentments may be already in your chronological list. After the list of resentments is completed, briefly describe the cause of your resentment.

Next? List all the ways this resentment affects you.

Along the way you will uncover many instances of people who have harmed you. You may find yourself becoming MORE angry, MORE depressed or MORE eager to withdraw from others. This is the time to rely upon those meditation and prayer practices you have been developing. You may need to ask for extra support if creating your resentment list agitates you in ways that threatens your recovery.

Maybe you are not doing an entire inventory. You COULD choose to pick one resentment and do this exercise, just to see what you discover!!