Weekly Blog

Tips, Tricks, Skills, Spirituality and Wisdom

Scott McBean Teresa McBean Scott McBean Teresa McBean

God with us

We hope you’ll consider joining us for our Christmas Eve service tonight at 4:00 pm. It’ll be a quiet, contemplative service. There will be a few songs, a partial reading of the Christmas story, a meditative instrumental, and silent prayer.

We remember on this today, and tomorrow, that God entered the world into a set of harsh circumstances. His family was isolated and alone. In a short time the government would begin looking for young Jesus in attempt to thwart God’s plans before they really get moving. In other words, even God in the flesh struggled to find his way in the world, even as we struggle to find ours.

The holidays are often difficult for those in recovery and, on this day, we remind that Jesus was to be called Immanuel, God with us.

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Teresa McBean Teresa McBean Teresa McBean Teresa McBean

Christmas Eve

At 4 p.m. on Christmas Eve, our community will gather to remember that our wait is over. We light a fourth candle, we remember that Christ would come not only as a Son, but as Immanuel - God with us. So we will celebrate the birth of Jesus the Christ, the Good Shepherd, the forgiver of our sins, the Jesus who will come again, the Son of Mary and the Son of God!

In 1965 Charles Schulz and the Peanuts gang struggled with the commercialization of Christmas. Imagine what they would think today - when Christmas decorations were available for purchase in big box stores in August!!

Charlie Brown loses his way when he tries to direct his friends in their Christmas Pageant. In frustration he bursts out with, “Isn’t there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about!?!”

And Linus, dragging his security blanket onto center stage, stands alone and recites Luke 2:8-14 (we’re using the CEB):

8 Nearby shepherds were living in the fields, guarding their sheep at night. 9 The Lord’s angel stood before them, the Lord’s glory shone around them, and they were terrified.

10 The angel said, “Don’t be afraid! Look! I bring good news to you—wonderful, joyous news for all people. 11 Your savior is born today in David’s city. He is Christ the Lord. 12 This is a sign for you: you will find a newborn baby wrapped snugly and lying in a manger.” 13 Suddenly a great assembly of the heavenly forces was with the angel praising God. They said, 14 “Glory to God in heaven, and on earth peace among those whom he favors.”

CBS execs thought this was a mistake; but the viewers loved it. They needed to hear Linus’ answer even as they needed to wrestle with Charlie Brown’s question. Has that much changed? Oh sure, we have iPads and cell phones. We have more allergies and less fresh trees in our living rooms. But I think we need to consider both the question and the answer.

Who knows what Christmas is all about?

We know. We actually know. Especially if we have misbehaved, been beaten down, live on the margins, have griefs and losses. We know. We more than anyone who hasn’t known personal failures and bone shaking heartbreak that our baubles and beads cannot provide collective effervescence.

“For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.” On Christmas Eve, we light a candle with joy and hope because of who God is. Not because we have lived up to our own expectations for happiness, success, and security. Amen

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Teresa McBean Teresa McBean Teresa McBean Teresa McBean

We do not know enough to judge

12 We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

13 But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

- 1 Corinthians 13:12-13 The Message

The second principle that I’ve been mulling over is this: I am only responsible for living out my way of seeing. I have no right to judge yours, even if IN THEORY it seems like we should agree.

The person who demanded that I comply with his request or take on the status of “enemy” was a confusing relationship for me, because I was under the impression that we shared a set of core values. And, I believe that we did. But my mistake was thinking that we applied them in the same way too. And we did not.

Compassion to carry on a relationship or end it will be in short supply if we do not get a grip on how unclear we all are so much of the time about just about everything. No wonder we get confused when what we think are shared core values end up being expressed in such different ways. If we can see how we are all prone to walking around in a fog, then maybe we can find some compassion for one another as we continue to bump into things in the dark.

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Teresa McBean Teresa McBean Teresa McBean Teresa McBean

Disagreements and Deal-Breakers

Whether we are able to maintain a relationship or choose to let it go, there is a principle that applies to both situations all the time. We do not let the (feared, expected, dreaded, desired) outcome dictate the way we show up for the relationship.

As image bearers of God, we are called to show up for relationships with our truest, most loving selves. Our work is to have the courage to love others EVEN IF we do not get our way in the relationship.

There are limits. In cases of abuse, neglect, and years of evidence that someone is unable (or unwilling) to learn how to relate with some degree of reciprocity, these relationships may need to end.

But what has no limit is our capacity to do so with compassion, even love.

Once I was in a relationship tussle with someone over a disagreement related to how our organizations interfaced. When it became apparent that I was holding firm on my position he said, “I’m sorry to say this, but if you continue to take this position you are my enemy.”

I thought he was joking. He was not and proved it in the years that followed. But what I knew then has remained true for me - he was not my enemy. It is easy to confuse a disagreement as a deal breaker if we are more invested in outcomes than we are committed to living out of our core values and inspired way of seeing.

12 We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

13 But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

- 1 Corinthians 13:12-13 The Message

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Teresa McBean Teresa McBean Teresa McBean Teresa McBean

Honorable image bearing

Honorable image bearers learn that failure is a thing, it happens all the time, it is inevitable, and it is never as big a deal as it feels at the time. When we don’t figure this out, we struggle in relationships as we compare and compete. People who can embrace failure as a norm have the energy to devote to cooperating and encouraging others.

I was in a public place with a television blaring. A commentator, speaking of President Bush during one of the services eulogizing him said, “President Bush was willing to risk failure in pursuit of a higher good.”

I thought to myself - you missed the mark buddy. He FAILED. President Bush failed over and over and over again. That is the point. It’s easy to talk about risking failure - it sounds noble and brave. But it is far more accurate to say that Bush failed spectacularly many times. It was a strength; he had the ability to move through it and keep going with his remarkable optimistic attitude intact. I wonder. Is that why he had so many unlikely friendships with folks that many would have thought were his enemies?

Why do we act so surprised, so defensive, so mad when we fail to get our way or have things go as expected? What if we were better at failing? Would it improve our relationships? Would it change the need to end some relationships?

12 We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

13 But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love. 1 Corinthians 13:12-13, The Message

What might change if we radically adopted failure as an expectation? What if we saw it as a normal part of accepting life on life’s terms? What if failure didn’t feel so personal?

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