Trust The Journey

"All meet together everywhere, and in your meetings wait upon the Lord. And take heed of forming words, but mind the Power, and know that which is eternal, which will keep you all in unity, walking in the Spirit, and will let you see the Lord near you and among you."

George Fox

On the day I could find no hope, I chose a series of actions that have helped me in the past. I started with cleaning out my inbox. This discipline is much like how I approach vacations. I cannot go on vacation unless my house is spotless, including the garage. This drives my husband crazy. Cleaning out my inbox, organizing my desk, gathering pen, paper, books and a cup of coffee in just the right mug...all of this is necessary preparation for a spiritual quest.

The journey often involves massive amounts of procrastination early in the trip, but on this particular day, I went looking and found what I needed within three clicks. Paulette Meier (a Quaker activist and singer) had appeared on Mike Morrell’s podcast and he conveniently sent out an email with notes from the session. (I have never received anything from him before; I have no clue who he is or how he ended up in my inbox.) My intent was to scan, delete and unsubscribe. What actually occurred was way more complicated.

Paulette says, “Quakerism began in 17th century England at a time that was also filled with trauma and peril. Two civil wars ravaged the country, and the plague killed 100,000 people in London alone, followed by the Great Fire that burnt the city down, leaving thousands homeless. There was a great deal of corruption and mistrust of political leaders, and brutal punishments were doled out to those who were deemed a political threat, not the least of which were the Quakers. With conditions that seemed almost apocalyptic, many people searched for deeper meaning in their lives than what they could find from the clerical churches.”

Woah. This, I thought, sounds familiar. In that quick scan I uncovered a directional sign; with lightning speed my malaise lifted. My very being hummed in anticipation of the encouragement that I knew I would find if I kept digging. Tomorrow, I will share some of what I unearthed.

Practice Preparation. Seriously. Do it.

As a pastor, I often have the privilege of sitting with folks in crisis - and crises happen to all people at some time or other - whether we are prepared or not. But preparation helps. It does not avert all crises, but it can avert some and mitigate the consequences of others.

My girlfriend who keeps picking abusive husbands? She agrees and allows me to say this to you about her - she does NOT prepare. She says she is a love addict. And by that she means that she is compulsively, habitually, repetitively mesmerized by a certain type of guy who she cannot help but believe will meet all her needs for security and significance. Once the “spell” is broken (27 busted lips and a couple broken noses later), she wakes up and says, “My gosh, what was I thinking?” She wasn’t thinking; she was reacting. She was under the spell of kryptonite. The thing my friend prepares for most consistently is creating a “self” that attracts the kind of man she believes will save her. But salvation is a gift from God, so her plan is doomed from inception.

In “enneagram” language, which my friend is starting to explore, her patterns can be described like this. Her virtue is humility. She is uniquely equipped to bring humility into any tribe she joins. But when there is an assault on her virtue, when she doubts God, herself and the abundance of his love for her - she falls prey to her kryptonite. In her case, she is fixated by flattery and driven by the passion of pride. Obviously, these are antithetical to humility, which is how this stuff works. Overcome with spiritual kryptonite, she falls into a pattern of dependency in all her relationships. What she needs more than anything is the spiritual practice of solitude, so that she can regularly check in with herself; consciously put on her spiritual armor; remember what she is most likely to forget.

Instead, my friend is scared of alone time. She is constantly looking for companionship and says that once she “sees” a guy that seems “perfect” (wealthy, good looking, and willing to support her financially), she gets tunnel vision. She only has eyes for HIM. This is exactly how people describe traumatic events!! When we forget the bigger picture and our place in God’s story, that is a traumatic event of sorts. It takes us to places that our mind, body and spirit do not truly, righteously, peacefully, faithfully want to go. Like any addiction, the object of our obsession cannot ever deliver on what it promises. But oh how it promises. She sees freedom when she is handed an American Express Platinum Card and a club membership. But as a creature made in the image of God, she is especially equipped to live in the holy idea of freedom - as defined by the kingdom of God, not the local country club scene.

What gives you tunnel vision? What has your own compulsion promised but never delivered on?