Positive Faith & Sin Part III

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Over the next few days I’m going to talk about how sin can be handled seriously while still maintaining a positive faith. I’m doing this because there is a stereotype against positive faith- people tend to think that, if you’re being positive, then you’re not taking the hard parts seriously. My argument is: I’m taking the hard parts even more seriously because I want us to do the things that actually help us deal with the hard parts- rather than be stuck in them.

And so- I want to take just a minute, today, to make an observation:

People take their sin unbelievably seriously.

I know, I know. It’s hard to believe. But it’s true. Take it from a (now) professional listener. People tell me all the things they wouldn’t tell anyone else. And, believe me, people take their sin seriously. Even if they don’t call it that. Even if they aren’t people of faith. Every single person I talk to is tremendously concerned with the impact they are having on the world around them.

Now, as people, we don’t always say these things to the people around us. Sometimes we’re defensive. Sometimes we’re scared to be vulnerable (or it’s just hard to be vulnerable- regardless of the emotion involved). The point is, whatever is going on inside us, we don’t always share it.

Because we don’t always share it, people can get the wrong idea. They think we don’t see what’s wrong with ourselves. They think we don’t recognize our own shortcomings and don’t want to deal with them. Now, of course, there is sometimes truth to this. We’re not always aware of every shortcoming we have. But, for the most part, most people are painfully aware that they are not entirely the person they’d like to be.

So, what happens if I tell someone how sinful they are? What happens if I use my “big voice” (as Norah calls it) to remind them of how sinful they are? What would happen if I did that to you?

Imagine it for a moment and we’ll come back to this tomorrow.

Positive Faith in Scripture: Jonah

“Then they grilled him: “Confess. Why this disaster? What is your work? Where do you come from? What country? What family?”

He told them, “I’m a Hebrew. I worship God, the God of heaven who made sea and land.”

At that, the men were frightened, really frightened, and said, “What on earth have you done!” As Jonah talked, the sailors realized that he was running away from God.

They said to him, “What are we going to do with you—to get rid of this storm?” By this time the sea was wild, totally out of control.

Jonah said, “Throw me overboard, into the sea. Then the storm will stop. It’s all my fault. I’m the cause of the storm. Get rid of me and you’ll get rid of the storm.”

But no. The men tried rowing back to shore. They made no headway. The storm only got worse and worse, wild and raging.

Then they prayed to God, “O God! Don’t let us drown because of this man’s life, and don’t blame us for his death. You are God. Do what you think is best.”

They took Jonah and threw him overboard. Immediately the sea was quieted down.

The sailors were impressed, no longer terrified by the sea, but in awe of God. They worshiped God, offered a sacrifice, and made vows.”

Jonah 1:8-16, Message

First off, let me apologize for having you read such a lengthy passage. I skipped the first 7 verses though- you’re welcome. Long story short, God asks Jonah to go preach to Nineveh so that they might turn towards God (because they were misbehaving), and Jonah runs away, leading to this fiasco with the boat. God sent a storm after Jonah in order to coax him to fulfill his mission.

Unlike yesterday, here is a story where God did establish some cause and effect. Jonah ran, so God sent a storm. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves- no one was harmed. In fact, again, God does not even express frustration Jonah. He sends the fish to swallow Jonah up- where Jonah prays and asks God for help (was this is an actual literal fish? or part of the imaginative way of telling stories that was so common in the Old Testament? I don’t know!).

When Jonah prays for help, God does not admonish him or rub Jonah’s face in his own pee (as I’ve seen people do to potty-training puppies). No- God’s response to Jonah’s prayer is something like: “Get going to Nineveh because I can’t ignore them any longer.” It’s almost as if God is taking responsibility for the lack of resolution in Nineveh.

God does not speak incredibly harshly about Nineveh or Jonah. In fact, God seems to have high hopes for both in spite of themselves and, in both cases, he is correct. Jonah fulfills his mission (though he’s not happy about it) and Nineveh turns towards God.

I don’t want to belabor the point, but what we see is not, actually, an angry God who can’t possibly be pacified but, instead, a gentle God, slow to anger and quick to forgive. A God who glosses over the shortcomings of his followers in order to encourage them to move forward.

What would change, for you, if you knew your shortcomings were things God just glosses over in order to help you move forward?

Rethinking Our Mission

I used to be a little bit (not a lot, but a little bit) judgmental of people who presented faith in a way that was too friendly. I mean, I’ve always wanted faith to seem approachable. I’ve never wanted it to seem like it was hidden behind a gate that only “the good” could get past. But I’ve always felt like accountability was important. I never cared for approaches that seemed to overlook the importance of things like accountability, confession, and the like.

These things are still important to me today- but I’m thinking about them a bit differently. I used to think that people wouldn’t hold themselves accountable…that we needed someone from the outside to remind us of the things that we needed to confess or take accountability over. This is what is changing for me. Over time I realize that most people are *very aware* of their struggles, shortcomings, character flaws, or misgivings.

Because of this, I no longer think we should be demanding people spend more time thinking about their flaws. I think we should be encouraging people that it’s okay to be flawed and that, if we support each other, we can move past them.

Again, it’s not that I don’t think accountability and confession are important- I’m just rethinking what they look like. I think we need both. But I think we first need an environment where we feel free to look inside and share without fear of being excluded.

To be continued…

Oh, Blessed Peace...

Step Seven is the final step that focuses on making peace with yourself. One through Three made peace with God. Four through Seven are all about you. Going forward, we will turn our attention to making peace with others. That is why it is vital that we thoroughly embrace the Seventh Step for it offers us a hope for change. In this step, we bring without reservation our shortcomings to God, knowing that we are unable to control them or cast them out. We ask him to remove them and we trust that he will in his time. For people interested in working the Seventh Step, you could do this:

1. In prayer, offer God a specific list of any shortcomings you are willing to have him remove at this time.

2. Ask God to remove each specific defect and replace it with a characteristic that more honestly reflects who you are as a child of his. This alternative characteristic is your intention; it suits who you want to be in life moving forward. When letting one thing go, it is helpful to consider what will take its place!

3. Ask God to give you the strength and awareness to practice living AS IF the defect has been removed and the wherewithal to handle the times when it becomes apparent that your shortcomings are still active.

There may come a time in the future where you have other limitations that you would like to give to God for his removal. Isn’t it awesome to have a structure and process to help us keep moving along in our journey of restoration?

Marriage as a Mirror

We do not practice our shortcomings in isolation. One of my issues is this habit of getting defensive when challenged. Large or small, any hint of somebody getting too close to my humanity and threatening my fragile ego freaks me out. I understand why I developed such a talent for this strategy and I admit that it is hard to let it go. I can show myself grace over this AND my step work invites me to live differently.

One of the most obvious places it shows up is in my marriage. My husband will offer me a suggestion for improving something - like loading the dishwasher, or how to use my car’s blinker when changing lanes. I am always tempted to come back with something snarky like, “Well, if you are so great at loading the dishwasher, do it yourself!” The problem with that defense is that he loads and unloads the dishwasher way more often than I do. You see my dilemma. I do not want to bite the hand that so often loads my dishwasher with excellence. The truth is, I resent any suggestions for improvement because I do not like to think about all the ways in which I could improve. It is far easier to think about my husband’s limitations and blame him for being so full of….suggestions.

Humility reminds me that I am only responsible for recognizing the truth about myself. I repeat: humility is the capacity to recognize the truth about myself. Period. Full stop. This provides me with a much-needed boundary for behaving. I am responsible for myself; I am responsible to others. My attention rightfully returns to working my own program.

How has selfishness, self-seeking, dishonesty and fear negatively impacted your willingness and ability to look at your own limitations?