Embracing the shame

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and

was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son,

threw his arms around him and kissed him.

21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven

and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe

and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his

feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and

celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again;

he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate. Luke 15:21-24 NIV

More about God. The running father SEES his boy; we can imagine him waiting in anticipation, day in and day out, for his son to return home. He recognized him too. Trudging across the fields with his head down, dirty and emaciated, no conquering hero returning home to praise and adulation here. Instead, a boy returns in humiliation and defeat. A not uncommon story for life is hard and few succeed on their first run at life.

And what does he receive? A welcome that is fit for a king. He receives the best robe, a ring and sandals for his feet. A fat calf. A feast. A celebration for a son who was lost but is now found. The father interrupts the boy in mid-confession. He will hear nothing of his negotiations and deals for reentry into the family. The father is having none of it. The boy is welcomed home because the running father loves him. End of story.

We do not know if the son ever understands the depth of the father’s love - a love that is itself willing to be shamed (fathers do NOT run and certainly do not expose their knees by lifting their robes to run) as the community sees him welcome the son who squandered his inheritance, lived in a distant land and chose a disreputable lifestyle. It may take this son awhile to process a robe and ring and fattened calf. Maybe he ends up grateful; maybe not. But the point of this story is NOT the son; it is the father.When Scott was in seminary he took a class from a guy who wrote a commentary on Luke. He’s got quite the reputation for scholarly research and understanding this gospel. He teaches his pupils that parables are primarily understood as short stories that teach one small thing about God. And so it is with some measure of confidence that I implore us to stop making this parable all about us (seeing ourselves as one son or the other) and instead, turn our gaze to the running father. Consider how knowing that this is who God is might change how we relate to him.

Gaining clarity about our problem(s)

Who among us escaped our youth without an indiscretion? The story of the prodigal son, if we make him the focus, is a common one. But from Dale’s perspective, looking at this as a tale of “The Running Father” turns it into an extraordinary epic adventure.

This matters, because I am suggesting that we must fight with all our spiritual weapons to keep the following truth in mind in order to avoid assaulting our virtue to the point that we become unrecognizable as a kid of God.

“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men

have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back

to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and

against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one

of your hired men.’ So he got up and went to his father.” Luke 15:17-20

Notice the following while remembering that the point of all this is to help us remember who WE are in God’s kingdom: He came to his senses, but that did not mean he was transformed. This is a big deal. He had a moment of clarity, but I would suggest that he lacked vision. Notice how he spent his time practicing his “speech” - trying to figure out a way to get his father to hire him as a servant. On first blush, this may seem humble. But I would suggest that it is at some level an insult to his father. He is assuming that his father will need some kind of negotiated settlement for a return home.

Next, notice that he got up and went. This is also a big deal. He took action. Perhaps he was worried about his reception, maybe we are right in saying his moment of clarity has not morphed into a guy with a vision. BUT. He returned home. He had some sense about him. He realized that his father treated his hired men far better than he was treated as a hired man in a distant land.

Clarity helps us wake up to the fact that we have a problem; vision may take awhile to acquire. As we wait for vision, it is a lovely thing to get up and go. How might you be frozen with indecision, regret, shame, or guilt? Consider the clarity of this young man. He chose, the moment he got up and went, to believe that his father was the man he had always been - generous, giving, willing to suffer the shame of his community for the sake of giving his son his inheritance. This is who God is; this is who he can be to each of us.

Distorted Images of God

For the next few days, I want to take a look at some foundational teachings in scripture that challenge our forgetfulness and wrongheaded ideas about who God is and what he expects from us. First up - a passage of scripture commonly described as the parable of the prodigal son. We are going to unpack it line by line. This parable is found in the gospel of Luke, and it is part of a string of parables taught by Jesus.

Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said

to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ so he divided his property between them.” Luke 15:11-12 NIV

This is highly unusual. In some cases, fathers might divide up an inheritance before death (with twice as much going to the older son) but retaining the income from the inheritance until his death. In this case, the younger son has asked his father a shameful thing. To demand an inheritance is ungrateful, presumptuous and gives the small community in which they lived the opportunity to judge the father as weak and his son has unworthy. But the father, who loves his son, puts himself in that position in order to give the son what he asks for. Will the son repay that generosity with gratitude?

“Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a

distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he

had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country,

and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a

citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed

to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave

him anything.” Luke 15:13-16 NIV

There are three obvious issues here:

1. The younger son broke tradition and moved to a distant land, isolating himself from his family and tribe.

2. The younger son squandered his preemptively gained inheritance, putting his family in a weaker position financially.

3. He further demeans himself and his family by doing what no self-respecting Israelite would do - working with pigs.

This is the story of a young man who forgets who he is, but I do not think it is the central theme of the story. My friend Dale Ryan has renamed the parable from the story of the prodigal son to the story of the running father. I quite like that. For truly, as we are about to see, the story of the son is a common one - young people behaving in an immature fashion. But the father? He does something extraordinary. Stay tuned!

Practice Preparation. Seriously. Do it.

As a pastor, I often have the privilege of sitting with folks in crisis - and crises happen to all people at some time or other - whether we are prepared or not. But preparation helps. It does not avert all crises, but it can avert some and mitigate the consequences of others.

My girlfriend who keeps picking abusive husbands? She agrees and allows me to say this to you about her - she does NOT prepare. She says she is a love addict. And by that she means that she is compulsively, habitually, repetitively mesmerized by a certain type of guy who she cannot help but believe will meet all her needs for security and significance. Once the “spell” is broken (27 busted lips and a couple broken noses later), she wakes up and says, “My gosh, what was I thinking?” She wasn’t thinking; she was reacting. She was under the spell of kryptonite. The thing my friend prepares for most consistently is creating a “self” that attracts the kind of man she believes will save her. But salvation is a gift from God, so her plan is doomed from inception.

In “enneagram” language, which my friend is starting to explore, her patterns can be described like this. Her virtue is humility. She is uniquely equipped to bring humility into any tribe she joins. But when there is an assault on her virtue, when she doubts God, herself and the abundance of his love for her - she falls prey to her kryptonite. In her case, she is fixated by flattery and driven by the passion of pride. Obviously, these are antithetical to humility, which is how this stuff works. Overcome with spiritual kryptonite, she falls into a pattern of dependency in all her relationships. What she needs more than anything is the spiritual practice of solitude, so that she can regularly check in with herself; consciously put on her spiritual armor; remember what she is most likely to forget.

Instead, my friend is scared of alone time. She is constantly looking for companionship and says that once she “sees” a guy that seems “perfect” (wealthy, good looking, and willing to support her financially), she gets tunnel vision. She only has eyes for HIM. This is exactly how people describe traumatic events!! When we forget the bigger picture and our place in God’s story, that is a traumatic event of sorts. It takes us to places that our mind, body and spirit do not truly, righteously, peacefully, faithfully want to go. Like any addiction, the object of our obsession cannot ever deliver on what it promises. But oh how it promises. She sees freedom when she is handed an American Express Platinum Card and a club membership. But as a creature made in the image of God, she is especially equipped to live in the holy idea of freedom - as defined by the kingdom of God, not the local country club scene.

What gives you tunnel vision? What has your own compulsion promised but never delivered on?

Are you ready to resist spiritual kryptonite?

10-12 And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we’ll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels. 13-18 Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.

~ Ephesians 6:10-18 MSG

Here are a few thoughts that I hope address the discussion on what’s wrong with us, as it relates to this passage in particular:

1. Whatever is wrong, however it weakens us, that is not God’s plan.

2. There are competing forces for our attention; we must learn how to use the tools that God provides to help us continue to live out of our “image bearing” selves.

3. This is serious. Pay attention.

4. Although God is awesome, he expects us to do the work of preparation.

5. Be humble; accept help.

6. Spiritual disciplines result in quantifiable actions - truth, righteousness, peace, faith and salvation. These are more than concepts; they are guideposts for living.

7. Stay alert; pray.

8. Encourage one another.

These eight or so concepts are weapons to combat spiritual kryptonite. They are our suit of armor.

How would you evaluate your readiness?