An Outsider's Perspective

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who “worry their prayers” are like wind-whipped waves. Don’t think you’re going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.

~ James 1:2-8, The Message

If we want different results after all our attempts have failed to produce it, we must look outside ourselves for the truth.

In recovery...“You get this theme of responsibility which is saying if you don’t assume 100% responsibility for this condition, you are probably not going to get better. You can’t change the past, you can’t change other people, you can only change your own life.”

~ Quote from NACR video By the Book: Click here to view.

Combat spiritual blindness with accountability

My husband is colorblind; so is my son. The difference between the two is that, while my son recognizes this deficiency, my husband refused to admit his limitation for quite awhile. My husband wanted to believe that a particular favorite shirt is navy blue. It is not. It is black. No amount of his understanding it to be blue will make it blue. The shirt is black. Sometimes he happens to wear something that looks fine with the black shirt - other times he looks like he got dressed in a dark room with his eyes closed. My son, on the other hand, allows his wife to pick out his clothes. And he looks fine, all the time.

We all suffer with a side-order of blindness. It causes us to believe things that are not true and not believe a bunch of stuff that is absolutely true. When we are in this position, life spirals out of control in confusing ways. These false beliefs and denials that we hold as truth cause us to take actions that do not produce the results we want.

The ONLY way I know to change this dynamic is by making a decision that requires our own certainty to stand down AND choose to trust God.

Meditation Moment

Mindfulness meditation is as simple as sitting, breathing, and focusing on the present moment and breath. Research indicates that this is extremely helpful especially for folks struggling with depression and anxiety. I like to start my time of meditation with this opening prayer, “God, I am going to sit here and simply be present. I do this as an acknowledgement that you are God and I am not. So I sit in honor of you.”

When your mind gets distracted with thoughts and worries and plans for the future, just take a deep breath and refocus on the sit.

Repetition frees the mind

A few years ago, one of our children was suffering from debilitating anxiety. He reached out to a mentor and received this simple advice, “Leave your work and go get a job washing dishes.” We like to joke at our house that we have the only family member in the history of job hunting that held out for a dish washing job. It turns out, this helped. Doing repetitive tasks is soothing and can provide relief from anxiety and depression. Take a few minutes to do something repetitive. Walk. Wash dishes. Fold clothes or rearrange a drawer. Go find a dishwasher and volunteer to load and unload it. Spread mulch. Cut the grass. Sweep your driveway. Whatever repetitive activity you practice, be fully present for the job. Concentrate on that task.

Self pity clouds our vision

“Why does this stuff always happen to me?” says the guy who just ran head-on into our car while changing his radio station. His second car accident in as many weeks and he feels like someone is picking on him. His driving record indicates that he might be the problem.

He has taken his rash of car accidents and tickets and done what healthy people DO NOT do. He has overgeneralized his issue. He is blaming it on bad luck. Now I do not know this guy - maybe he has a lot of bad luck in his life.

But I suspect that if he were a bit healthier, he might discover some ways to change that reduces the PATTERN that his brain has identified as bad luck.

Do NOT overgeneralize and fall into a self-pity pot. We do not need to ask why God is picking on us because we don’t need to adopt a distorted image of God just so our brains can take a break. God doesn’t tempt or test us to see if we will be a good girl or boy, nor does God withholds good things from us.

My new acquaintance would do well to admit that he has a driving issue, not a luck problem. Maybe some classes would get his competency up and his driving record improved.

When we adjust our thinking, we often find solutions to our problems. That’s good news!!

Lead me by your blessed Spirit into cleared and level pastureland.

~ Psalm 143:10, The Message