The Gifts of God-Light

In this blog series, I’ve made a bunch of suggestions; they went something like this:

* Faithful people welcome the God-light; this light helps us see what work needs doing; our gratitude and love of God fuels our willingness to do the work.

* The God-light illuminates truth and bears witness against delusion and lies. Our responsibility involves developing a set of values that are suitable for the light.

* God-light reveals our Yes. The Yeses our heart sings help us understand in quite specific ways the kinds of work that is ours to do - but it always involves love.

* God-light helps us decide the CENTRAL ISSUE in each situation and this helps us know what to do, think and feel. (Indeed, our actions, thoughts and feelings are not random neuron firings - they are informed by our values, our Yeses, our choices.)

On vacation, I daydream about a life of leisure, preferably on a lake. But it doesn’t pass my Yes test. It is not awesome or cool or cute when the God-light shines on it. Jesus did hang out by a lake at times, but he did lots of other things too. He worked. He taught his disciples in a fishing boat, he turned water into wine at a wedding, he drove out demons, he counseled a woman at a public well, he hosted a huge picnic, he had supper in homes with friends, acquaintances and even enemies. Sometimes Jesus went to temple or synagogue - but all of it was work. In John 5 Jesus says of God, “My Father is still working, and I also am working.”

During the U. S. Open this year, Billie Jean King was quoted as saying, “Pressure is a privilege.” It is a phrase used in her book Pressure is a Privilege: lessons I’ve Learned from Life and the Battle of the Sexes.

Work is a privilege. It brings with it pressure. But here’s the thing. It looks good in God’s light.

My daydreams long for leisure and no pandemics and peace on earth and goodwill to all men, women, children and pets. But this is not what God revealed with his light. He didn’t, as the song goes, “promise(d) you a rose garden.”

God-light reveals reality. Reality reveals disappointments, heartbreaks and despair. But it is worse, I think, if we prefer illusion, for there is no truth or God-light found there. Pressure is a privilege because it implies that we have responsibility. And that’s a good thing. As we continue 2020, how can we use our voices, our Yeses, our central issues, our energy and our work to be part of the solution that helps other people’s dreams come true?

Finding Your Yes!

My grandson is crystal clear about what he loves. When he came to visit me on vacation, here are a few things he reported loving - with great gusto.

“Meme, aren’t these power lines awesome?”

“Meme, isn’t that deer so cute?”

“Meme, is that the lake? It is so pretty!”

“Meme, look at those stars! They are amazing!”

Meme, I am so happy to see you!”

“Meme, this kitchen is cool!”

“Meme, this beach is fun!”

“Meme, I want Azeranka to win!”

He was full of YESES. He was attuned to what he loved and in it, he found great pleasure.

In Eugene Peterson’s translation of a passage in Corinthians says,

“Whatever God has promised gets stamped with the Yes of Jesus. In him this is what we preach and pray, the great Amen, God’s Yes and our yes together, gloriously evident. God affirms us, making us a sure thing in Christ, putting his Yes within us.”

I often hear prayer in the words of normal conversations, especially in the Yeses.

A Yes is hopeful. A Yes is responsive. A Yes is the way we express agreement among us. A Yes is powerful and promising.

What do you say Yes to? You have a Yes within you, a Yes that is a sure thing in Christ. It is God’s affirmation. In a world that expects Nos - what can you find to lend your Yes to? If you can find your Yes, you find your work. If you find your Yes, you can find your courage and confidence and will to live, even thrive.

Identifying Your Central Issue

One of the things I love about the scriptures is how often I reread a passage that I have read a kazillion times, only to have a particular section speak into my daily life as if I had never heard it. Here’s a passage that did just that. This particular passage is written as a summary of sorts in the book of Galatians. Evidently these folks had been arguing over whether circumcision was a godly thing or a goofball decision. Then Paul says this…

Can’t you see the central issue in all this? It is not what you and I do - submit to circumcision, reject circumcision. It is what GOD is doing, and he is creating something totally new, a free life!

Galatians 6, somewhere between 14-16 in The Message

As I evaluate and re-evaluate my own values depending on the circumstances, it seems to me that I am required to think about the CENTRAL ISSUE. What is it, exactly? Is the most important thing which side one comes down on regarding circumcision? Really? Of course not. It is so easy to see that a couple thousand years later. Today I wonder. What do you think the CENTRAL ISSUE is in your life? Your life. I say that because our life is the one we are responsible for; our life is the one we will answer for. We need to be very careful at this moment. We need to think about our responsibility, our life, our values and our response to them. Whether or not my children and I agree politically, for example, is not my priority. My priority, my core value, is having relationships that are characterized by respect and dignity. It is undignified and disrespectful for me to have ANY expectation about my children’s political leanings. They are grown ups. They own their life; I own mine.

So what is the CENTRAL ISSUE? For me, it is about trying to make sense and apply what it means to believe in a God who is creating something totally new - a free life. I am curious about this; I lean into it and ask myself questions like: What would it mean for me to have a free life? What’s the new thing that God is up to? What is God doing and how can I possibly figure that out? What issues feel “central” to me that are not central. What is the central issue anyway? What am I missing? How is my ego standing in the way of my discernment? In what areas am I certain? Certainty is not possible when dealing with “totally new” anything. What am I missing? What is my responsibility? What is NOT my responsibility? What will I regret if I get it wrong? How do I imitate God? What does love look like in this situation?

The questions go on and on and on - but they are questions I ask and answer about me - because I am who I am responsible for. Everyone else? I am responsible TO - my family, my friends, my enemies. May you find the answers you seek within the arms of our Loving God.

Shifting Values

Core values compete and vie for our attention. The values we “bring up” and “highlight” will impact the way we think about our current situation. This is a good thing; we need this kind of flexibility, wisdom and discernment.

Early on in the pandemic Scott and I worked on the core value of safety/respite/calm. We chose topics to foster this attitude in most meetings whose content we had responsibility for. That was, count them, almost SEVEN months ago. We thought we would be in lockdown for a month. Maybe two. It didn’t turn out that way, did it?

Back then, safety and respite for all the anxiety and uncertainty seemed like a top priority. Folks were wondering how they could BEAR two weeks of staying at home, not getting a haircut, their nails done or eating at their favorite bar and grill. Others worried about keeping their home, not getting paid, figuring out how they were going to feed their kids or find childcare so they could work their essential jobs. I suspect that 7 months in, most of us have some of the same concerns.

If safety was our initial value, what values might we want to highlight after 7 months? Every person will need to decide this for themselves. Scott and I are still organizationally very concerned about safety, but we are also concerned about support. How do we shift our mindset from - hey, everybody hunker down and use your tools to survive a few weeks of weird living to - oh boy - what are we going to do to continue our recovery work as a community?

At first, we encouraged folks to not worry about productivity - survive! We said. Be kind to yourselves, maybe eat pizza and ice cream and read a good crime novel. Seven months in, our value needs to shift and priorities need to change. We know this because we observe and listen to the stories folks tell us. Things like how crazy it feels to see Facebook posts from people you thought you knew but realize their viewpoint is not only contradictory to yours, it is offensive. Or the hurt feelings that arise when various family members choose different positions on what constitutes responsible living in the age of covid-19. Or my goodness, the election.

So here goes, the seven month values shift. What if we refocus our attention on a slightly different value? We do not have to give up on our core value of safety (for self and others), but maybe we can add on to it? Tomorrow, we’ll talk about how to do that. For today, as often as you can, try to think of what you can do to please God. Something small. Something manageable. Something that involves glitter and glue - on paper, not in your cousin’s hair or Meme’s favorite sweats.

Discovering Your True Values

A family came to me to talk about their competing values - which I just love to wrestle with - especially if they are not mine! We zoomed a bit and talked about which values were competing and why they were wrecking the family. Dad was upset because his daughter had quit college and he was under the impression that education was a core value of his. She wouldn’t comply with his wishes for her to get a college degree, he fired her from her part time job in the family business (in the hopes this would incentivize her to return to college). Every time they argued about her decision to quit college he questioned her values in a bad, judgy way. She questioned his values too. Nonverbally. She thought that he was controlling and unreasonable. She stopped calling or hanging out with the family. Her strategy was avoidance (hoping that he would miss her and see the error of his ways).

I asked him, “How do you express your value for education?” His response, “I want my kids to go to college!” Ok. Let’s try again because that is NOT dad valuing education; that is dad telling his kid to value what he values. “How do YOU value education?” I ask and ask. “I quit college when my dad had a heart attack and eventually took over his business. I didn’t graduate. But I vowed to myself that I would make sure my kids went to college. They OUGHT TO GO to college.”

He pursued education through the experiential route - working the family business. After a few really hard conversations, the dad finally said: “Oh God. This is not a values discussion. This is me thinking that I missed out on college and not wanting my kids to miss out.”

Yes, there it is. You know what his daughter wanted to do? Go into the family business without attending college. Like father, like daughter. When released from the tyranny of shoulds and oughts - dad was able to see that he and his daughter were perfectly aligned in terms of the core value of creating a thriving family business. But he almost lost the joy and opportunity of bringing her on board because he was so stubborn and controlling and judgmental of her choices. He was driving her away - which was the last thing either of them wanted. And she was walking away in response to his manipulation. Neither was living by their values at all!

All of us could benefit from taking some time to think about what we really, really value rather than what we say we value. For instance, maybe we learn that we value relationships more than we value our opinions. Maybe when push comes to shove we care more about loving others than we care about convincing them that they should like blue cheese or pineapple, wear or not wear a mask, vote Republican, Democrat or Third Party. Maybe.