At the Hem of God's Robe...

I was raised on the practice of talking to God rather than listening for him in my moment by moment experiences of daily life. Recently I cleaned out a spare bedroom to make room for a pandemic friendly home office. I found journal upon journal of years and years of me telling God all I thought he needed to know.

I am slowly reading through them, only to discover that much of what I talked about somehow manages to seem very small compared to what I realize I might have focused on instead. What I once considered a prayer journal seems more like a journal today - and there is nothing wrong with that. But it reads more like free association than what a young woman would really say to God, should she happen to end up in his presence one day.

I am reminded of Job, who had plenty of stuff to say, none of which God found much to correct. But when he stood before God, no words sufficed.

Today, without words, close your eyes and imagine yourself standing at the hem of God’s robe. And feel the awe.

Understanding God

Many people chaff under the phrase found in recovery literature “as we understood him [God]”. That’s unfortunate. Because it holds a profound truth that we may need to wrestle with. We may need to increase our understanding of God. We may need to let go of abusive, manipulative or harming notions of God that were given us at an early age.

I was shocked to realize that God was not a white man with a big white fluffy beard, because that was the picture of God that was framed and hanging in a Sunday School class I attended as a child with my grandparents.

I had to let that imagery go. I had to let go of the image of a God who demanded I be a helper without acknowledging my need for help.

I had to let that false teaching go. I had to replace the image of a distant, demanding God with the gentle and humble reality of Jesus. (Weird how so often we transpose an image of a real human being over the truth of who God is.)

Today, find some time to invite God to begin to reveal to you what you need to let go of, and maybe what you need to gain understanding about him. Breathe. Give him time to do his thing before you rush off to your day.

Getting Your Mind Back on Track

Tobin Hart, a professor of psychology at the University of West Georgia defines meditation like this:

“A third way of knowing that complements both the rational and the sensory. Designed to quiet and shift the habitual chatter of the mind. To cultivate a capacity for deepened awareness, concentration and insight.”

Who doesn’t need more of THAT?

However meditation works, research is teaching us that meditation is helpful when our brain really needs to get back on track after suffering from the damaging impact of trauma and suffering.

Weeks away from what has been a contentious political season in the midst of a pandemic, what the hell could it hurt?

Today, practice. Sit and breathe. Go quiet. Wait for the shift away from chatter to deepened awareness, concentration and insight.

Applying Step 11 to Your Everyday Life

In the 12-Step tradition, it is Step 11 that invites us to pray and meditate. “We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”

My friends sometimes question the completeness of the eleventh step.

“My grandmother has cancer! Does Step 11 prevent me from praying for her?”

Imagine my speech bubble of sarcasm rising up to reply, “Really? You think there is someone on this planet or beyond that is asking you to pray LESS?” If I am in a good space, I do not say this. Here’s what I hope a more mature me might say:

The Step 11 is quite specific and is part of the 12-Step process; it is not intended to limit our prayers. It suggests (for the purpose of one’s recovery journey) that we keep two objectives in mind.

1. One goal is to improve our conscious contact with God (as we understand him).

2. We pray ONLY for the knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

Today, try that. No pleas or requests or petitions or instructions to God. Just this simple prayer:

God, here I am. I am ready to listen.

Amen.

Release Your Expectations

Daily prayer and meditation does not promise to take us on a joy ride each day. In fact, we will be sorely disappointed if we expect the experience to produce a specific result or reveal a particular breakthrough.

Part of the discipline of prayer and meditation requires that we let go of any expectation that hinders our commitment to the practice.

Today, sit and breathe. Expect nothing. Trust that what God is up to is worthy of your silent homage.