A Moment of Lovingkindness

Lovingkindness - the combination of intention (love) and action (be kind) is a core value that most of us would say we believe in. Here is a prayer that fits this intention:

Lord, may I be at peace. Father, may my heart remain open. Holy Spirit, guide me as I seek to know myself, experience healing, and draw near to you. Grant that I might be a source of healing for others. Even as I am grateful to those who support my healing.

Amen

If this prayer fits your intentions, it might be a good to add to your prayer journal for easy reference and repeat use.

The Gift of Renewed Perspective

I go in and out with a daily examen practice; when I use it, I discover both small and sometimes large things about myself. I realize that the small things can make the biggest difference in my daily life satisfaction.

I often take a late afternoon break and go through the drive in of my local Starbucks. Each day I ask the server to “not give me one of those plastic green stoppers” as I am trying to do my small part to keep plastic from overwhelming the world. Every single time - I get the stopper! My sweet and kind baristas are unconsciously providing those stoppers and no matter how many times I ask to not use them, they shove them down into the top. In the beginning of my attempts to be a bit kinder to the universe, this irritated me.

I would not have noticed my growing habitual attachment to a side order of irritation with my latte unless I were practicing the daily examen. It kept showing up in my daily review - and I did not like what I saw. I don’t want to be the girl with the scowl on her face every time a kind, underpaid but overly solicitous person gives me a cup of hot steamy coffee that I did not have to make for myself. The daily examen gave me the gift of a renewed perspective, one that eventually taught me how to find these small exchanges delightful.

I started by trying to practice gratitude over this small, insignificant matter. It became my own inside joke. Ask for no stopper; get the stopper anyway. This is an indication of a well-trained staffer. These stoppers may add to plastic pollution, but they also decrease the chance that I will spill my cup of joe.

Several months in, and I asked for no stopper - and got no stopper! This delighted me too. It turns out that gratitude muscles can be strengthened. I moved from having an expectation to living out of my highest value priority - appreciating others.

What pattern are you noticing in your own life that does not fit your core values? If this is not obvious, maybe adding a daily examen will be a practice worth trying.

Practicing the Daily Examen

Four hundred years ago St. Ignatius Loyola encouraged spiritual awakening through a practice called the Daily Examen. This is a prayer practice that is used to reflect on the day in order to notice God’s presence and discern his direction for our lives. Here’s how it works:

1. Sit quietly at the day's end and contemplate the events of the day, asking God to bring clarity and understanding as you “inventory” your day. (A journal can be used if you want to jot down a question or recall an event that you might want to discuss with a mentor.)

2. Review the day with gratitude. Walk with God through your day. Notice its joys, no matter how small. Practicing gratitude builds gratitude muscles that we might need for trying times.

3. Notice your emotions. They show up to tell us stuff. Part of paying attention to our emotions during the Daily Examen is so that we can ask God to show us what our feelings are teaching us about how we might be falling short of our intentions.

4. Choose one feature of the day and pray about it. Allow the prayer to spontaneously come from your examen.

5. Look forward to tomorrow. Seek God’s guidance for the upcoming day ahead. Pray for hope.

I find that it helps me to create a prayer space dedicated for my quiet times. It changes seasonally. Yesterday was my first day in my fall space - a cozy fire, a scented candle. The vanilla candle of summer has been replaced with pumpkin spice! My summer journal, adorned with summer flowers that now look kind of worn from use, has been replaced with a leather bound wood grain journal that Scott gave me as a gift. These sensory things matter. They help our brain encode the experience of conscious contact with God. (All these things can be ordered online; even an electric fireplace!)

Today, consider thinking about how you might transition into fall with a new prayer intention and a new set up to encourage your practice.

Cultivating Conscious Contact with Others

As a way to connect, I also walk with friends or my husband in a meditative way. This walk may include conversation or we may commit to silence. Either way, when I take this kind of walk, I like to collect a stone along the way. I have a container I am filling up with these pebbles of connection. As I sit at my desk and try to work via zoom, this container reminds me that I am not alone or as disconnected as I sometimes feel.

What visible reminders do you have to help you focus on your intentions and your reality? Not the reality that others try to tell us is true; but the reality that is our lived experience.

Are we as isolated as the pandemic would have us believe? We have friends who we love to play bridge with, but that has not been possible during lockdown. But guess what? My creative friend found a way for us to play together online.

Can we find a way to increase our conscious contact with God and OTHERS?

No one called you lately? No worries, it turns out that our phones also have the capacity to dial out!

Today, however you find a way for quiet solitude with God, maybe leave that space and reach out to someone who may not be able to reach out to others right now - expecting nothing in return. I know in our insecurity it might feel a bit vulnerable to do so, do it anyway.

Quieting Your Mind with Mindful Walking

Not all of us can sit and meditate. No worries! There are other options. Walking meditations are fantastic. Mindful walking - without music, conversations, audible books - is a wonderful way to quiet our minds and heal our brains.

As we walk, pay attention to our feet hitting the ground; notice the world around us. The fall season is a lovely time to mindfully recall God’s pattern - living, dying, rebirth. Listening to our breath can remind us that we are alive. Colors, sounds, smells stimulate our senses and increase our capacity for creative problem solving (later, not while we are walking!!). When our mind wanders, we can take a deep breath and reset. Pause for a few beats and then continue our stroll.

Today, I pray that we receive the healing, guidance and strength necessary for our day’s journey.