An Invitation to Focus on Our Humanity...

If my friend Paul Honaker was on our ministerial team at Northstar Community I would have no concerns about how we would manage to pull off a service that maintained a deeply faithful adherence to traditions and bring the congregation comfort and joy. As Minister of Music at our baptist church no one did these things better or more faithfully than Paul.

His Advent duties were never shirked. The candles were lit in order by color; he made sure the congregation all knew why they were lit when; he made it personal. Usually he asked one family each Sunday of Advent to come light the candle, read a scripture and pray.

One year he asked us. Here’s what happened:

First, my children complained about having to be seen in public with us, their parental units. Pete complained about having to walk up the stairs (he has slipped on those things a couple of times). No one wanted to do the prayer. This, I thought, was surely not how our family was supposed to behave. By and large, we are a crew that likes to whine but we always show up. When our turn came, we were all appropriately dressed and our daughter made sure we all knew our responsibilities. It looked like this year would go off without a hitch in spite of us.

We gathered at the appropriate time in the lobby behind the sanctuary and Paul, ever-faithful, rushed up to make sure we were clear as crystal on our instructions. Just when he was about to turn and rush off to his waiting choir, Michael (our youngest) rustled inside his sport coat and said, “Mr. Honaker? Can I use this to light the candle?” He whipped out our portable lighter - you know the kind - bright neon handle? Long flame thrower barrel?

Paul gasped but maintained his composure. He promptly repeated the instructions about the proper way to light the candle and absconded with our lighter. And this to me, is and forever will be, a sacred representation of Advent.

It reminds me that Advent invites us to focus on our humanity. The ways our young people keep us on our toes and remind us that the most true way to prepare for the coming of Christ might just include reminders to us all that we are fully human and humor helps navigate the complexity of humankind made in the image of God.

We can hold onto our traditions lightly but grasp with fierce determination the right and the responsibility to love one another well. To bring joy and mirth with us wherever we go. To maybe not trust a 3rd grader with a flamethrower but still allow him to participate and light the appropriate pink, purple or white candle…. Because all are welcome.

This weird year, what can you hold fiercely to that keeps the profound meaning of these holy days while gently releasing the parts of the holiday that maybe we cannot or perhaps should not continue to ritualize?

Advent Through The Ages

In our community liturgy is not a particular focus of attention. Some days I long for the rituals and traditions that I imagine “the church” holds so deftly to its collective bosom - the Hallmark movie version. In reality, I sigh with the deep, long sigh of an old pastor who would need to attend to such things as candles of a particular color, lit on a particular Sunday. In the real world, other things seem so much more important. Do we have enough egg casseroles to feed our brothers from The Healing Place (a local ministry for men in recovery who attend our Sunday services)? Did the stranger in our midst receive a warm greeting? Can I remember that not everyone knows the enneagram, so don’t go talking numbers!

In the middle of the pandemic-with-no-end-in-sight, I have a compulsive desire to experience ritual and tradition. My longings have gotten me thinking. How did this advent tradition get started in the first place? Why does it tug at my heartstrings? And...is it possible to experience the meaning of advent even in the middle of a pandemic? In the baptist church our family (hubby, kids and I) grew up attending, Advent was celebrated the four Sundays before Christmas. It served as a sort of pre-party preparation in anticipation of Christ’s birth. I assumed that this was a convenient way to make sure we got all the best Christmas hymns in so as to avoid complaints from the congregation.

In fact, Advent began as a season of preparation for the baptism of new Christians at the January feast of Epiphany. This was way back, during the 4th and 5th centuries in Spain and Gaul. These 40 days were spent in prayer, repentance and fasting. Originally, there was little connection to Advent and Christmas. (Does this mean the Hallmark movies are….wrong?)

By the 6th century, the link had been made and Advent became linked to the coming of Christ. But these folks were not talking about Jesus’ birthday. They were thinking about his second coming in the clouds as the judge of the world. (Naughty? Nice?)

Finally, in the Middle Ages, Advent became explicitly associated with Christ’s first coming at Christmas. Over the course of history, even our rituals and traditions gradually change. I mean, look at this timeline - how did we get from there to here? These are not simply stylistic changes! This is an example of how the very meaning for them morphs over time.

What traditions, rituals, and expectations have you held onto about the upcoming holiday season? This is gonna be a tough year for anyone who has tied their joy to “the ways things always were”. This year is gonna be weird. How can we make it weirdly wonderful? If you’d like to join us, in a couple of days I am going to suggest each family light one candle each night to commemorate the Advent Season. (Grab purple, pink and finally a white candle if you want to be technically color-coordinated!)

Where Are Your Habits Driving You?

During the pandemic and political cycle of 2020, Pete and I EVENTUALLY turned off our televisions and I began to limit my exposure to Facebook. It became obvious that exposure to the repetitive news cycle - with very little new information - was creating undue anxiety for us. We told our adult kids to tell us if anything earth-shattering happened, otherwise, we had the information we needed to make the choices we decided were right for us. When we relapse, we immediately regret our decision to tune in.

We upped our commitment to daily walks (long ones), meditation and prayer, and our grandchildren. We played more games, worked on more puzzles, and chose to keep the house quiet when our grandkids were not visiting.

These are all choices we had the capacity to make - but it took us surprisingly long to figure out that we could and should make them. We had developed some habits that needed to be jettisoned. It wasn’t like we were eating sugar with a spoon or guzzling soda. Our habits would not have alarmed anyone on an intake form for rehab.

But our habits were driving us; we were not choosing them.

Meditation helps us wake up. Our goal is not to turn our brains off or shut down our thoughts. Mediation is slowing down enough to NOTICE that which has become too automatic for our own good.

Today, sit with your eyes open and observe yourself and your environment. Notice the details. Observe your body’s feelings. Too hot? Too cold? Too stiff? Relaxed? Energized? Need a nap?

What habits might need shifting in order to improve your quality of life?

A Breath Prayer of Faith

I do not believe everything I pray. This is one way I practice faith. Mine is not a faith of certainty but one of commitment (sometimes barely that). Especially on days when I am struggling to have any faith in myself, others or God, I turn to these verses. I read them and pause. Breathe. Read and pause. Breathing my way through each translation, trusting that God will accept my humble prayer of self-doubt as I commit to allowing the psalmist to speak for me while I breathe.

PSALM 139:14

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

NIV

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God - you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made!

The Message

I give thanks to you that I was marvelously set apart. Your works are wonderful - I know that very well.

CEB

I will give thanks and praise to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are your works, and my soul knows it very well.

AMP

A Breath Prayer for Braving Gray Days

On days when life feels dull, gray and too ordinary, find a comfortable spot and breathe. Do a quick body scan and relax any tense spots in your body. As you can manage, breathe using this prayer.

Inhale slowly and steadily as you pray, “God, you are Creator of all.” Exhale slowly and steadily as you pray, “God your creation is marvelous and wondrously made.”

Or

Substitute “God, your creation is majestic.” ...on the inhale and “God, I am grateful for today.”...on the exhale.

Feeling bored?

Try this: Breathe on the inhale as you pray, “God, this is a day that you made.” Exhale as you pray, “Lord, I can rejoice and be glad in small, simple pleasures.”