Weekly Blog

Tips, Tricks, Skills, Spirituality and Wisdom

Teresa McBean 12/4/17 Teresa McBean 12/4/17

Shooting Stars and Other God Things

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In October I saw a shooting star. It was awesome. We were in Texas on a retreat at this place we go called Laity Lodge that is freakishly perfect and beautiful. And dark, really dark, at night. The view of the stars is amazing and every time we visit I make Pete stare at the heavens for a long time at least one night while we are there.

And I wonder about what in the heck Abraham must have been thinking when God said, “Look up at the sky and count the stars if you think you can count them.” He continued, “This is how many children you will have.” (Genesis 15:5 CEB) And then Sarah was barren. How do any of us make sense of that?

Russ Ramsey says in his book Behold the Lamb of God that every story God tells is filled with glory – and of course, how can I argue with this? It’s true!!! But it is also chock full of strange things and mundane acts that continue to highlight the reality that we both bear the very image of God while simultaneously demonstrating our willingness to litter and call each other naughty names.

This is key information. The volunteer ballot bearer, the well-heeled woman in her finery, the two dudes practically coming to blows over the best selection for Commissioner of Revenues for our county and even cowardly me who did not step in and defend a decent woman…we are all both fully human – in both the best and worst sense of that word.

This absolutely MUST impact my choices. I must find grace for the mistakes made – even my own… I must find a way to love who God loves and support what God supports. I need to ask the kind of questions that guide me toward the light.

[ What does the Lord require? ]

With what should I approach the Lord and bow down before God on high? Should I come before him with entirely burned offerings, with year-old calves?

~ Micah 6:6, CEB

It isn’t about what we want to do or need to do or should do or shouldn’t. There is no one-size fits all response. But there are responses to be made. This God who invites us to look up and admire his handiwork is the same God who encourages us to be transformed through his mercy. I want that life.

….to be continued

Teresa McBean 12/3/17 Teresa McBean 12/3/17

God, you are killing me!

In Alice Fryling’s book, Mirror for the Soul, she writes about Lewis Carroll’s sequel to Alice in Wonderland. I’m not sure I knew there was a sequel. In the Looking Glass House, books can only be read when reflected a mirror because the words are written backwards. Fryling’s book is on the enneagram and she uses that analogy as a way to talk about her fondness for that particular tool for self-discovery and her perception of its value.

I would say that the scriptures have done the same thing for me (and the enneagram too for that matter). More accurately, are doing the same thing for me. God’s word provides a grand epic panoramic story that often serves as a backdrop for our own mite-sized narratives. Oftentimes I experience it as a Looking Glass House mirror. It puts “me” in context; it takes my backward self and turns me around.

I was ashamed of the way I didn’t handle the abusive situation when the older woman spoke so rudely to the slightly less older volunteer. I felt like I didn’t stand up for someone who had stood up for my children. She had been an able teacher and for one child in particular, a valuable mentor. And when she was publicly humiliated I did nothing but hold her gaze and lamely attempt to communicate my silent rage. This doesn’t fit well with that panoramic vision for life I’ve been reading about for decades. Of the three of us, I was the greatest offender.

Where to go from here? Back to the drawing board. I cannot forget the things that are behind me, as Paul suggests in the scripture below, but I also know that needless rumination isn’t healthy either. Maybe, just maybe, I can learn from my mistake(s).

Learning from this past experience has been an actionable item on my “to do” list for exactly one year. When I arrive at my polling precinct and immediately am confronted with another scene, there’s only one sensible thing to do. Pray – “God, you are killing me here. Seriously?”

Join me as we go back to the beginning of this grand epic tale and see what God might have me do on election day in light of all we know about who God is and what he is up to.

Brothers and sisters, I myself don’t think I’ve reached it, but I do this one thing: I forget about the things behind me and reach out for the things ahead of me.

~ Philippians 3:13 CEB

Teresa McBean 12/2/17 Teresa McBean 12/2/17

Who am I?

Who in the world am I? Ah, that’s the great puzzle. Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll

Election day 2017 was almost as traumatic as the presidential election day experience. This time I walked straight into two dads giving each other the business while their combined tribe of five boy children watched. I know these guys. I know these kids. These folks are friends; the dads have known each other since THEY were in diapers. In a way, this familiarly on my part made the interaction MORE disheartening than the elderly lady who littered as a protest to others having a different political persuasion.

This time I wasn’t in shock; this time I wasn’t going to stand quietly by.

But what was I going to do?

That is ALWAYS the question in situations like this one.

Let me back up and say that in a few minutes I will stop writing, jump up and run over to our “studio” (a different table in my office) and teach a webinar on DETACHMENT, CODEPENDENCY, and BOUNDARIES. I do NOT think that if something needs doing it is always my place to do so. I angst; I work out; I meditate; I write down things I feel and want to do and say and then burn them in my fire pit. I teach hard things that I almost never want to abide by – but this is what it means to grow up.

It’s hard.

I am a strange bird. I am both easily frightened and strangely aggressive when it comes to defending someone I perceive is being taken advantage of. I am nervous and anxious almost 24/7. I rarely feel capable but am always defensive when criticized. My dreams are haunted with worst case scenarios and villains. I try not to burden others with it, but there it is – it is my reality. I feel responsible for many things that are objectively speaking NOT mine to do. Sometimes I get in such a state about those things that I fail to notice the things I am responsible for. Like making sure we have toilet paper in the house or turning on the stove to cook the Thanksgiving turkey. Pray for my family.

But there is one thing that I have been doing consistently for over 30 years that I stand by unapologetically – I keep peering into God’s word to find answers to my moment-by-moment dilemmas. I know that the bible is not a magic book of answers; I understand that it is the story of God, the story of us (to quote Sean Gladding). I’ve read enough of it to have MORE questions than answers from the text at this point in my life. However. The scriptures reveal hidden mysteries and sacred truths that can guide us at least toward the light, even if on many days it seems so very pale and dim.

To be continued…

Teresa McBean 12/1/17 Teresa McBean 12/1/17

Looking back, leaning in...

Brothers and sisters, I myself don’t think I’ve reached it, but I do this one thing: I forget about the things behind me and reach out for the things ahead of me. Philippians 3:13 CEB

On election day 2017 I headed out to do my civic duty with dread in my heart. During the previous presidential election two seemingly lovely ladies with opposing political perspectives caused a scene and it just killed my spirit. Heading back to the polling precinct felt like returning to a crime scene. To be clear, it was mainly one of the two that acted up. One woman was a lovely retired teacher from my children’s school – she was handing out sample ballots for one political party. She was as sweet and calm and deferential as she had always been as a teacher. Top drawer classy lady. The other, ahem, well – this happened.

“May I hand you a sample ballot?” the volunteer inquires to a statuesque woman with expertly coiffed piles of white hair wearing a killer pair of red shoes and a St. John’s suit that looked fresh off the Nordstrom’s full price rack. In silence, Red heels grabs the ballot, rips it to shreds and throws it on the ground, stomps her foot (not kidding), and harrumphs at the retired teacher lady. She folds her arms. She glares. She sighs. She calls the volunteer all sorts of names, one of which I had to google to understand. She was WAY older than me – maybe 100? I thought perhaps she should have had more skill sets than she displayed. But she had excellent balance in those shoes.

I was frozen in my spot, thinking, “Surely she had other options.” For example, how about..

“No thank you, I am clear on my voting preferences.” OR “Hell no!” OR

“Sure,” takes the sample ballot, holds it until she gets to the nearest trash can and then deposits it where she believes it belongs. OR

“I don’t need the ballot, but I am curious. Could you tell me why you are out here on this cold, wet, rainy day to support this platform? I won’t be voting for them, but I am really interested in hearing your perspective.”

When did it get so bad that little old ladies no longer led the way in decorum, wisdom and kindness? That’s my pity-party sentence – now, let’s get down to changing the world one small next right step at a time.

To be continued…

Teresa McBean 11/30/17 Teresa McBean 11/30/17

New Blog Features

We know that most of you read the blog in your email inbox. That's great. It's quick and easy. But we also want to make you aware of some new features starting in December that you'll only be able to use if you view the blog on our website. In short, all posts from December 1, 2017 on will be grouped to make it easier to find past content.

We will be using "tags" so you can quickly find posts that may be on the same topic but written at different points in time. For instance, if the tag "codependency" shows up at the bottom of a post (on the website) you can click on that tag and see all the posts we've ever written on codependency.

You can also:

Find posts based on month and year of creation
Find posts based on the author (view all posts an author has ever written)

Bear in mind these features will only apply to posts moving forward and will not apply to the archived posts from our prior blog host and, because of that, it will take a little bit of time before they become really useful. Even so, we want you to know what's on the horizon and let you know there will be benefits to getting out of your email and onto the website.