Expanding our Focus: Part II

For Part I: Click Here.  It was posted on January 24.

I know many in our community are past the initial wave of recovery.  Many of us have seen our loved ones become sober and carry on in the journey of recovering their lives.  Many of us who have substance use issues have found sustained sobriety.  Many of us have never had a loved one deal with a substance use issue nor have dealt with it ourselves.  

What if my issue is not substance-related?  How does this process talk apply?

We are all in constant need of spiritual principles that expand our view of the world beyond ourselves in order to live out God's call to be a loving and forgiving people whose life (as a community) points to God's character, actions, and values.  Recovery grounds us in the kinds of spiritual disciplines that connect us with this calling.  In fact, every week I'm coming across more and more articles calling upon Christians to reexamine the 12 steps and to take them seriously as a guide for faithful living.  

We all need a guide for faithful living.  Some cheeky person will undoubtedly email me and say, "We have one, the Bible."  Yes, true, but let's also be honest- it's quite confusing and complicated.  It helps to have some of the key ideas distilled so that we can more attentively focus on them.  The 12 steps, which serve as the basis for many recovery principles, do exactly this.  

They continue to offer guidance and help push us in the direction of "meaning" long after we've left "crisis mode."  

Process as Meaning-Making

From yesterday:  

Discovering meaning in (or for) our lives pushes back chaos, crisis, and the all-encompassing sense of unmanageability.

Meaning comes from things like:

* Connection to God
* Community
* Self-awareness
* Rituals or habits (from spiritual disciplines to exercise, we benefit from regularity)
* Work 

In each of these areas, we are all always works in process.  Yet, at the same time, if our process is not a dedicated one then we are unlikely to receive meaning from any item on this list.  

Dedicating ourselves to each of these processes is, in a way, the work of faith and recovery.  Granted, recovery has specific things in mind for each area.  The act of learning to own and dedicate ourselves to basic recovery principles provides us with the alternative vision for life that we need to step out of the insanity of managing things that we cannot control.  

When we step out of the insanity, and dedicate ourselves to this process, we open up the possibility of finding meaning where, previously, there was only chaos.  

The Lives of Others

From yesterday:  

We simply cannot live through someone else and so this version of life will never provide the meaning we crave.  We need an alternative.  We need something else to dedicate ourselves to that adds meaning back into our lives in the midst of all of the chaos.  

That meaning, I think, comes from a conscious, intentional dedication to process.

Discovering meaning in (or for) our lives pushes back chaos, crisis, and the all-encompassing sense of unmanageability.  "Meaning," as a concept, is not a thing we find when we know the right place to look.  It is the sum of various seemingly disparate life parts that we cobble together.  I am obviously not an expert at this and so I'm not prepared to unpack the exact ways in which someone finds meaning in life, but I will point to a few of these "life parts" that I know help.  

* Connection to God
* Community
* Self-awareness
* Rituals or habits (from spiritual disciplines to exercise, we benefit from regularity)
* Work 

Process falls under nearly any of these categories because, as I wrote earlier, we're all in process of becoming a person who can: connect with his or her creator, participate in community, examine self, maintain habits, and dedicate ourselves to whatever our work is.  

More tomorrow.

Is It worth It? Part II

For Part I Click Here.  It was posted on January 22.

You may commit yourself to your own recovery journey and still not see your loved one enter long-term recovery.  You may not receive that promotion.  You may not save your marriage.  

Does this mean it isn't worth it? 

It depends on whether or not we can see the value in dedicating ourselves to a process.  If we can detach (slightly) from our immediate circumstances and the anxiety of trying to fix a loved one (or whatever the case may be), we may recognize we have our own issues that need addressing.  When we over function for someone else, we tend to under function for ourselves.  In this way, we may see the value in entering recovery to reclaim what we have learned to overlook.  If we look at it that way, we may convince ourselves there is some other outcome worth pursuing.  It's a mental trick (a good one).

The larger question, though, is one of meaning.  Attempting to live someone else's life for them is always going to rob us of our sense of meaning and purpose because we will fail.  We simply cannot live through someone else and so this version of life will never provide the meaning we crave.  We need an alternative.  We need something else to dedicate ourselves to that adds meaning back into our lives in the midst of all of the chaos.  

That meaning, I think, comes from a conscious, intentional dedication to process.

Expanding our Focus: Part I

Every day (I think?) I have moments of anger, and moments of sadness.  Every day I'm confronted with various choices and possibilities.  Every day I encounter conflict of some kind.  Every day I encounter something that stirs up irritation and impatience.  

Each of these things has the capacity to throw me off kilter, out of balance, and away from my calling to live as a reflection of God.  I'm not blame-shifting here, I'm responsible for being thrown off kilter,  but there are also things that happen outside of my control that contribute to that possibility.  

I suspect the same is true for you.  

At home, there are trials and frustrations.  There is trauma.  There is grief.  There is resentment.  At work, we have employees that undermine our authority, or coworkers who don't respect us, or who try to make us look bad so that they can get ahead.  In our larger community, there are disappointments and petty arguments and factions.  Look, we just aren't always the best version of ourselves and that creates problems.  

We do not need to be in chaos or crisis in order to dedicate ourselves to the ongoing process of recovery.  If we're not dedicated to this process, then we may be dedicated to the process of complacency and backsliding.  And if we're dedicated to complacency then our home lives, work lives, community lives, and whatever other lives we may have are unlikely to get any better for us.  

We'll be living out of our most basic instincts.  And those rarely transform us into the best possible version of ourselves.  

So, as you read the remaining days, ask yourself what process you are currently dedicated to.  Be willing to question whether or not it is effective.  Be willing to consider that a greater level of intentionality may open up the possibilities you need to break the cycle you are currently in.  

On the other hand, if you're happy (and you know it), then clap your hands!  :-)