Success and Sacrifice

I don't think we spend enough time asking ourselves questions.  So often we're out of balance simply because we haven't taken the time to deeply reflect.  Use these questions today as a guide in re-thinking success and the role it has played in your life.

Do you live as if you value what you say you value?  Do you prioritize it?

Consider sacrifice.

Do you sacrifice?

Do you give up an opportunity for more money because you know it will benefit you, your family, or your community in other ways (ie., it benefits your mental health, happiness, availability, etc.)?  In other words, are you willing to live a simpler, humbler life in order to help others thrive? Conversely, are you willing to take on more responsibility in order to help others thrive? Are you aware when you want to say yes to something simply because of ego?  If so, are you then able to say no?

More Success(ful) Questions

I don't think we spend enough time asking ourselves questions.  So often we're out of balance simply because we haven't taken the time to deeply reflect.  Use these questions today as a guide in re-thinking success and the role it has played in your life.

Do you live as if you value what you say you value?  Do you prioritize it?

Consider character.

Do you consider the development of character a success?  When you react to a difficult situation with grace when you've had a lifetime of reacting, well, poorly, do you think of that as success?

When you have something difficult to discuss with a close friend or family member and you pause to prepare, plan your speech, and speak your truth calmly and clearly, do you consider yourself a success?

You should.

Success(ful) Questions to Wrestle With

I don't think we spend enough time asking ourselves questions.  So often we're out of balance simply because we haven't taken the time to deeply reflect.  Use these questions today as a guide in re-thinking success and the role it has played in your life.

What do you value?

Do you live as if you value what you say you value?  Do you prioritize it?

When you have to make a major life decision- do your values receive more emphasis than other factors on the pro's and con's list?

Consider community.

Do you consider how your family will be impacted?  Do you consider how your community will be impacted?  Do you seek feedback and, if so, do you take it seriously?  Do you pick up the phone and call someone when you feel yourself trending towards isolation?

If you do, that is success.

Success can look a million different ways

What else can success look like?

It depends.  It can look like a million different things.  It doesn't have to have anything to do with money.  I used the example yesterday as a demonstration of a person who represents non-dualistic success.  He earns a lot of money, but his money does not define his life. He uses it, not the other way around.

I've known people who are incredibly greedy who make middle class money.  I've known people who make upper class money who give, and give, and give, and give.  The important thing to remember is that a person's financial success, or their prestige, does not tell us anything substantive about that person.

People with money are not people to imitate simply because they have money.  But, if they demonstrate a certain kind of character with how they use their money, then there is something there worth paying attention to.  So often we elevate people in our minds simply because we know they do well in their career. We need to dig a little deeper in our evaluations because we need to be discerning about who we idolize and, at the same time, because we need to hold ourselves to a higher standard.

Do not become trapped in thinking that success can only look one way for you.  If that singular vision does not come to fruition, we will struggle to see ourselves as anything but a failure.  Successful living is so much more than whether or not we accomplished one particular dream or one particular goal.  It is about the various ways in which we pursue our certain way of seeing.  

While individual goals may be thwarted and individual dreams may die, these things cannot stand in our way of living out our core values.  

Unified Living

From yesterday:  Success is a matter of consistently living in accordance with our values, our certain way of seeing.  It is about creating a life that fosters our ability to do that consistently. And, then, it is about allowing ourselves to be affected by those around us such that we're interested in helping them create meaning in their lives.

Yesterday I wrote about what success looks like for one of my best friends.  He has so cultivated the art of service and self-sacrifice that he is not overcome by the wealth and prestige he has acquired.  For him, they are merely tools to be relied on when the situation calls for it.

In order to follow his example, we may need to temper our own ambitions, goals, and desires from time to time.  He lives a unified life and so his ambition does not overtake his vision for life. He does not let one area (work) dominate others.  He is unified in terms of his pursuit of his purpose- his call to love God and others. It is because of this that his work, his wealth and prestige, can be tools, rather than "meaning makers."

And this is another lesson I learn from him: success is about a unified life, trying as much as we can to live without cognitive dissonance.  Meaning, we live consistently. For instance, his work life is such that it could easily become all about the status and the money if he allowed it.  He could work harder for longer and become singularly focused on his work, casting friends and family aside. But, should he do this, he's no longer living in accordance with the certain way of seeing that tells him his call is to be a living reflection of God's values.  So, in this hypothetical, he would have tremendous cognitive dissonance. His actual lived experience would be incommensurate with his belief system. That's a recipe for disaster.