Honesty and blame with God and us

Oh Israel, I Feel You!!

Shepherd of Israel, listen!

You, the one who leads Joseph as if he were a sheep.

You, who are enthroned upon the winged heavenly creatures.

Show yourself 2 before Ephraim, Benjamin, and Manasseh!

Wake up your power!

Come to save us!

3 Restore us, God!

Make your face shine so that we can be saved!

4 Lord God of heavenly forces,

how long will you fume against your people’s prayer?

5 You’ve fed them bread made of tears;

you’ve given them tears to drink three times over!

6 You’ve put us at odds with our neighbors;

our enemies make fun of us.

7 Restore us, God of heavenly forces!

Make your face shine so that we can be saved!

~ Psalm 80:1-7 CEB

The Israelites were always willing to be honest with God. Their ability to blame God even as they ignored him was not only impressive, it is relatable - at least for me. Tomorrow, I might take the liberty to rewrite this call out to God from a teeny tiny bit more recovered perspective. I do so even as I respect these people - so willing to just lay out their own sleepy perspective for God to hear and respond to.

Tomorrow: How can we change the way we see? What is ours to do? How will we apply it between now and December 25th.

The meaning of Advent

We aren’t quite there, but we’re getting close to the Christmas season.

Advent means “coming” or “visit.” For Christians, Advent has historically been a time when we prepare for the coming of Christ at Christmas. The people of Israel had expectations for God’s “coming.” They had legitimate needs. And although they sometimes, well, regularly, forgot this one true thing, when they got into trouble, their hearts would inevitably return to the source of their hope and rescue - God.

When we forget that we too have profound needs, it is often because we have distracted ourselves, just as the Israelites did, with baubles and beads (false strategies/false gods). Christmas can be an enormous distraction. But it can also be collectively effervescent.

I believe we can do that without giving up our lights and tinsel and trees and hot cocoa and cookies. But only if we are willing to wake up and recognize our need for a God who saves and restores. You know what is beautiful about this perspective? It gives us a way to appreciate even our gully washer holidays. You know the ones - when coal shows up in our stockings, or all our family goes out of town and we are left to scramble for a way to celebrate with others. Or the kids all come down with the flu. Or there is a fight about politics on Christmas Eve that takes the Ho Ho Ho right out of the season.

Collective effervescence can provide us insights into how we can take the most humbug Christmas and turn it into something magical. But we will have to wake up to do so. Are you ready to wake up? Are you willing to think about the collective even at the expense of your personal preferences?

Gully Washers and Effervescence

Thanksgiving is now technically behind us, and that means we start looking at Christmas, right?

I could write something snarky about how we’ve all lost our way with the commercialization of Christmas, but who am I kidding? I love it all. I love the secular, the sacred, the lights, the handbells, the cheesy Christmas movies, the old standby Christmas songs, and even all the preparations surrounding the Christmas season. In our community, we have a few rituals around how we celebrate Christmas and I love them as much as I love the ones my family practices. I love Christmas. Mostly, I love the expecting, waiting and hoping that Christmas seems to awaken in me. As an adult, I am more focused on creating the experience of Christmas than hoping someone will make my Christmas merry and bright. I believe in Christmas. After reading Brene’ Brown’s book “Braving the Wilderness,” I have no guilt or shame about my love for the season. I no longer understand my passion as the generational expression awakened in me by my Christmas-loving, Santa-celebrating, and over-the-top light-loving mom. In fact, I am turning into a Christmas holiday celebrating zealot.

In chapter six, “Hold hands. With strangers,” Brene’ Brown describes in detail a key point that emerged from her research to help us cultivate and grow our belief in the inextricable human connection. This matters because this capacity for connection is so vital to our well-being, and the wellbeing of our communities. It is what Christmas does for us as a collective, in my opinion. Brown was shocked by the results, which were this: Show up for collective moments of joy and pain so we can actually bear witness to inextricable human connection. (p.120)

She entertained, illustrated and connected with her reader by providing examples of how she had experienced this showing up, which pretty much explains why I was unwilling to stand in the hallways at Scott Stadium during a recent downpour and legitimate gully washer at a recent UVA football game. At gametime, the seats were mostly empty but the entire stadium was filled with water! In raincoats, boots, ponchos and head gear, we were soaked within seconds of taking our seats. Pete suggested we go stand in the covered concession area. Maybe buy UVA apparel to change into that would at least give us dryer clothes? For like 15 seconds? I was having none of it. I cheered with the others in the stands, sang the good old song, and said to our neighbor a few seats down, “This is crazy, right?” What we were experiencing was collective effervescence. Brene’ says (p.130) that a French sociologist coined this term to describe a type of magic he witnessed during religious ceremonies. He says it is an experience of connection, communal emotion, and a “sensation of sacredness” that is what happens when we are willing to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. And this feeds our soul.

Pete and I have been going to UVA games together for 44 years. UVA fans understand that the “effervescence” has been a lot of PAIN with an occasional side of joy. Our football team has lost a lot of games in 44 years. But our night in the rain was magical. To sit and stand and cheer and have water gather in nooks and crannies of our body was awesome. Our team lost that night, but we won another memory to cherish that was bigger than either of us individually or even the two of us as a couple. We need more of this in our lives folks, we just do. Christmas can be that if we are willing to be more intentional, aware and thoughtful in our Christmas expectations, waiting and hoping.

Letting go gives us balance

Over the past few weeks we’ve visited and revisited step 11 of the 12 steps of AA: We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of his will and the power to carry that out.

It seems to me that the eleventh step takes a lot of pressure off of prayer and meditation. It’s clear and simple: we are simply improving our conscious contact with God, we acknowledge that our capacity to connect is limited by our gaps in understanding who he is, we ask only for the knowledge of his will and the power to carry that out.

It is assumed that to have the capacity to know and do the will of God is enough. It is more than enough. What else is there? This makes such perfect sense to me. Without big long lists of demands for God’s immediate action in the life and times of me, I am now given the time to meditate. To sit quietly. To be still and know that God is God and I am not. To, as Jesus did, draw away from the hustle and bustle of the world into solitude.

This is yet another blessing of letting go and letting God. It is a counter-weight to my natural tendency to codependently point out to God all that I think HE is missing!! Today, I wait more, expect more, and hope more.

Or, to be more specific, I expect differently. I have stopped demanding results and started trusting God with whoever and whatever my mind is concerned about. I’m aware that God is not obligated to DO anything about my concerns, but I love the practice of sharing them because I know he cares, not because I think he needs me to keep him informed.

December is a big month for waiting, expecting and hoping. I’m going to spend the rest of this month looking at the season of Advent - the four Sundays prior to Christmas and ending on Christmas Eve, a time of preparing for the coming of the Christ. I wonder if our recovery perspective might enrich our faith perspective on Christmas.

Plan for the worst, Hope for the best

When it comes to difficult holiday events with family, sometimes it helps to have a plan for when things go sour. So often we walk into these events with fear, stress, anxiety, and more, but we don’t have a plan. When things take a turn for the worst, we react. That generally is not a great strategy.

So, in preparation for this holiday season, think about some ways that you can hit the “reset” button within the confines of the types of situations you find yourself in. Is there a way to hide, for instance? Can you sneak off to a bathroom and meditate (or scroll on your phone)? Can you plan to spend less time in a hostile environment? Perhaps you can plan some stock phrases for awkward conversations: “I don’t appreciate it when you talk about me that way and I think I’ll be going now,” is a better choice than “F*** You!”

What kinds of situations do you find yourself in?

How would you like to respond, if you had the option?