Finding a Way Through Suffering

My friend and I met for coffee to discuss an upsetting event. She made a mistake that could have resulted in tragedy but did not. However, the incident did point out a shortcoming or two of hers that resulted in experiencing some painful consequences.

She was distraught. She was ashamed of her mistake; she was angry that her efforts to correct her error did not result in the immediate suspension of her consequences; she was thrown into recovery chaos. As an experienced practitioner of the 12 Step way, she had some awesome tools and the wisdom to use them.

“I realized that I kept saying to myself - God is punishing me for being a stupid, stupid, little girl.” These are lies and she knew it, but her mind kept repeating the thought.

Upon reflection, with the support of her team, she investigated and could not find definitive support for these habitual thoughts. She made a mistake and it was hers to own. She is not stupid - in fact, she is quite brilliant and that is objectively provable. She is neither little or a girl. She is a grown up woman. She is not immune from natural consequences.

As she reviewed her thoughts and feelings, she found a way through her suffering. She believed that restoration was possible which got her curious. How might restoration work? Her experience helped her figure that out. She rejected her habitual way of lamenting and replaced that with different thoughts - I am a woman who made a mistake; I am capable of changing; I can take responsibility for my part in this and trust that God will restore me in the process. Energized with this more hopeful perspective, she got busy and did a host of things in a sincere effort to right her past wrongs.

They cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke away their chains. Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for me, for he breaks down gates of bronze and cuts through bars of iron.

~ Psalm 107:13-16 NIV

My friend rocks.

Meditation Moment- Set Aside Prayer

Within mutual aid societies there is a popular prayer called the “set aside” prayer. Start of your day with this:

“Dear God, please help me to set aside everything I think I know about my beliefs, God and myself, so I may have an open mind and a new experience. Please help me to see the truth about God’s power, my insanity and the promise for my restoration.”

Figuring Out How God Works

I was once in a car accident, hit by a young man who was driving on a suspended license for a plethora of citations as a result of his bad driving. What did he say as he exited his smashed vehicle? “Why does God keep doing this stuff to me?”

In contrast to George Costanza’s and this young man’s opinion of God, there are others who believe that God is only in the good things (as defined by us). Have you ever seen a player on the losing end of a Super Bowl matchup saying, “I just want to thank my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ for this loss?” No. Because big game winners profess belief that God is in our big wins. No mention of him in the losses - unless you are George Costanza. Or that kid who totaled my car.

What we are asked to “come to believe” in the second step of the Twelve Steps - and one reason I love them - is that God is powerful. We are not asked to figure out how God works in every situation. Our distortions about how we believe God uses his power may complicate our acceptance of his power.

Can we start there? God is powerful.

Finding God in the Good and Bad Things

The classic television series Seinfield has a character named George Costanza who has a few things to say about believing in God and telling ourselves the truth. (You can find this segment on youtube by going to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOCKuyFFWo4.)

Says George, “God would never let me be successful. He would kill me first. He will never let me be anything.”

Female listener incredulously responds, “I thought you didn’t believe in God!”

George, “I do for the bad things.” I think many of us DO believe in God only for the bad things. The second step invites us to reconsider our beliefs. Does a thorough study of the God of George’s understanding support his belief that God is only in the “bad things” (as defined by George)? Only George can say; but George owes it to himself to fact check himself.

What do you believe God for?

Meditation Moment- Ezekiel 11:19 NIV

I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.

Ezekiel 11:19 NIV

Take a few minutes and imagine that God is patiently waiting to remove your heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh. The flesh feels more - more joy, more pain. But it also fits perfectly and connects your body, mind and spirit.