Slow Down

“I lied and said I was busy. I was busy but not in a way most people understand. I was busy taking deeper breaths. I was busy silencing irrational thoughts. I was busy calming a racing heart. I was busy telling myself I’m okay. Sometimes this is my busy.”

B. Oakman

A friend and I were zooming about her anxiety and grief. She told me that she was struggling to find meaning in her life. Recently retired, she speculated that perhaps after decades of being mind numbingly busy, maybe this new season of rest was waking up all the skeletons in her closet.

Disruptions in our routines can do that. Many of our routines are actually created to keep us perpetually distracted, numb and out-of-touch with ourselves. This short term solution is attractive but over the long haul? Not great.

Productivity addiction is like those weird diets we fall in love with - attractive for the immediacy of the relief but inevitably we return to our pre-carrots-only diet weight. Too hard to think of slowing down? I know. I feel you. But let’s try.

Permission to Rest…

“You are worth the quiet moment. You are worth the deeper breath. You are worth the time it takes to slow down, be still, and rest.”

Morgan Harper Nichols

I miss pre-pandemic snow days. It’s tough to justify cancelling zoom meetings because the roads are too icy for safe travel.

We NEED snow days. We NEED breaks in our routine. We NEED unexpected quiet moments.

Why is it that we so often require an act of mother nature to give us permission to take better care of ourselves? Look around! Notice how all this productivity and efficiency is impacting our mental health!

Google the stats. So many people NOT taking all their vacation days - have we lost our marbles?

Boredom, wasting time, inefficiencies, these are all fertilizer for creativity.

In a world in search of so many solutions, my prayer is that I can remember the words of Jesus, who encouraged us in Matthew 11 to come to him and receive rest. If you, like me, need permission to take a break even though it FEELS like we shouldn’t need it - here is your permission slip.

Take a snow day. Or a personal health day. Or spend a vacation day...on you.

A Glimmer of Light…

“We get to the beauty through the brutal. Not over or around or under but straight through. We do not ignore each other’s pain - we help carry it.”

Glennon Doyle

I used to think that the best way to manage pain was to super-spiritualize it. Be hopeful! Be positive! Remind myself of all those sayings I have heard all my life about God and suffering. Then I studied the scriptures. The dissonance was shocking. It gave me the same feeling as an ice cream headache.

I read the laments - full on works of suffering, grief, mourning and loss. The writer was going THROUGH pain. He (I assume) even had the temerity to question God about his suffering - much like Job. What’s going on here, I thought? The few “friends'' who tried to correct Job’s theology ultimately received the harshest critique from God - not Job!

I’ve got a lot of unlearning to do. I’ve worn deep ruts around tough topics, suffering, and grief. I’ve tried to tippy toe around them and not get caught in their sticky web. I’ve tried to comfort the comfortless. Why? Was I simply trying to relieve my own anxiety? Was I parroting others, assuming they must be right about the nature of loss?

Straight through. Like the psalmists; on we march. God with us. That truth is amazing enough right there. We need no fancy stories or justifications or blaming to deal with suffering.

God with us.

God with us.

God with us.

There it is; there is the glimmer of light in darkness.

Moments of Merriment

Just as water mirrors your face, so your face mirrors your heart.

Proverbs 27:19

Let’s pray!

Father, grant us the awareness of our face and what it shows the world. May we show kindness and grace and mercy. May we find moments of merriment. And if on this day our heart is sagging a bit, maybe our face can remind our heart to sing again.

Father, our face counts. It affects others. May we be mindful of what our face is telling those we love, and Father, if at all possible, may we be a bit of sunshine in the life of someone else.

Amen

May you stand close to someone today who feels like sunshine!

Find Some Sunshine Today…

“Stand close to people who feel like sunshine.”

Unknown

My niece, my birthday twin, is in labor. I’m a little distracted. I’ve struggled to not be a prickly pear. Absent a pandemic I would have hopped in my car and driven to Georgia to stand or sit or pace with someone during this long wait for our new baby to arrive.

Last night there was a texting fest going on among some of us; much of it was hilarious. As I lay sleepless with anticipation in the middle of the night, I knew with great clarity that for all of us, to stand near to Kaitlin is to “Stand close to people who feel like sunshine.” Kaitlin is a woman who makes the sun look like it is not trying hard enough.

And so I drop my prickly pear attitude and accept what is, instead of wishing for what cannot be and allowing that to dampen my spirit. I wait from afar. I will meet this little peanut the first chance I get. In the meantime, I believe the best thing I can do is carry on and maybe find a little sunshine to spread around to others standing near me on this cold, wet, dreary pandemic day.

May we find some sunshine today, in ourselves and others. Follow the light!