What Can You Add?

“If it doesn’t add to your life, maybe it doesn’t belong in your life.”

Unknown

When I was growing up I heard that in America you could grow up to be anything you wanted if you followed your dream. The implication was, I think, that if you did not achieve your dream, perhaps you didn’t try hard enough or want it bad enough because in America, anything is possible. And it is true that in America many things are possible! But not everything. It turns out, the sentiment is not quite true. Until July 25, 1960 a person of color could not eat a meal served at a Woolworth’s lunch counter. The first person of color to do so ate at a Woolworth’s counter in Greensboro, NC. I hope they got a cherry coke. But that is 1960. I was four years old. It was not and is not possible in America to be anything we want to be when we grow up just because we want it and it’s America. In many churches I cannot be a pastor because I have two boobs and no penis. Do these words offend you? You are not alone. I am offended that we tell little kids one thing and then not follow through with our promises by making it possible.

Here’s my point. We may need to expand the quote above to say this: “If it doesn’t add to your life or the life of another person, it doesn’t belong in your life.” Here’s why. Progress is a slow and ambling journey. We know that God is up to something good, and his will is to move toward a more fair and just and equal world - but it takes time. While we wait, we must not be complacent. We must not base our decisions on what benefits us, but perhaps what benefits others in the future.

I’ve written about this before. Unwittingly and without any noble intent, I entered the University of Virginia as one of the early classes that allowed women. There was nothing radical about my application process. I applied because my favorite guy friends were applying and my best girlfriends and I decided - why not? We had some inkling that we were one of the first co-ed classes but WE DID NOT GET IT. I won’t bore you with all that we did not understand.

But I will say this, when my daughter eventually attended The University, the experience was a bit better for her than it was for me. There was more diversity, more females in the class, no harassment by the upper class. The dorm was still lousy and the urinals still remained in the antiquated dorm bathrooms from the good old days of male onlys - but it was better. Today, the gender distribution is 45% male and 55% female. I can only imagine it is a LOT more equitable today. I hope so.

I’m not sure that I can say that attending UVA added to my life. Honestly, I kind of wish I had expanded my options and considered a softer, gentler collegiate experience. But I will never regret walking through an unplowed field if in so doing it made it a bit easier for my daughter to follow in my footsteps. There will be a few times in our life when we will have to abandon the basic principle of “addition” in favor of the chance that we “add” something to the life of another.

A Fruit-Filled Life

No temptation has seized you that isn’t common for people. But God is faithful. He won’t allow you to be tempted beyond your abilities. Instead, with the temptation, God will also supply a way out so that you will be able to endure it.

1 Corinthians 10:13 CEB

If we are willing to consider a perhaps fuller, more comprehensive reading of the text, what can we take away from our reading? First, and very, very importantly, God is faithful and in control. Things are going to change. We have no idea when, but eventually, the kingdom of God will come. Second, we have to acknowledge our temptation to chase our tails when we get anxious and follow other gods. This is what 1 Corinthians 10 is talking about. It’s talking about humanity’s instinctive desire to plan for its own survival when it doubts that God is in control. It shows up in the various ways we chase idols. Whether it is a golden calf like they did in the Old Testament or the relentless pursuit of security and success in today’s society, we bail on God anytime we get scared or impatient.

What Paul is suggesting is that this is common, and so it will be true for us. It’s gonna happen. We can prepare for it by making a different choice: persevere.

We persevere by chasing after the distinct ways of God. We ask ourselves, what are the things that are uniquely and distinctively of God? We find the fruit of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control - and we persevere in living a fruit-filled life. We don’t argue with people on Facebook because it probably violates a bunch of those fruity qualities. We don’t punch back when someone hurts us. We persevere in the ways of the Lord even when it feels like the cards are stacked against us. And friends, they are stacked against us if we believe the point is winning.

But the point is not winning. It’s not avoiding temptation so that we lose ten pounds or do not cheat on our spouse. It’s persevering so that we make choices that would preclude cheating as an option. See the difference?

Instead of staring at a list of “don’ts”, we peer intently into the light of God’s ways and we stick to the journey of chasing the things that are distinctively of God even as we struggle, feel anxious and even afraid.

I choose protein smoothies over egg Mcmuffins because of what I want out of my life, not to avoid temptation. What do you choose?

Chasing Our Tails

No temptation has seized you that isn’t common for people. But God is faithful. He won’t allow you to be tempted beyond your abilities. Instead, with the temptation, God will also supply a way out so that you will be able to endure it.

1 Corinthians 10:13 CEB

In the book of 1 Corinthians the Apostle Paul is writing a local church that is steeped in discord. Paul writes to both exhort and encourage them. When he gets to the part of his letter that includes the above mentioned passage, he is calling upon historical context to help the Corinthians further understand his advice. The history of God’s people is this:

“God’s people have a history of chasing our tails when we get anxious.”

(Scott McBean)

It turns out that throughout history, God’s people remain stubbornly predictable. When it gets difficult for us to feel God’s presence, we get scared and impatient. We run after other gods. THIS is the context of 1 Corinthians 10. He makes the case of the pattern in the first part of the chapter, and then exhorts his friends to do it differently going forward.

This passage is less about temptation and more about perseverance!

Perseverance is required because God’s plan is unfolding over a very long period of time. No wonder we get frightened and begin to look around for shortcuts to a satisfying life! The answer is not found in assuming that we should be able to overcome all temptation.

We are and will continue to be tempted. But the temptation is different than we have so literally assumed! It’s not egg mcmuffins or two pieces of cheesecake when one slice should suffice. It’s not about whether or not we are going to cheat on our spouse. The solution is not found in white knuckling the process of denying our preferences for things that are not good for us.

So what is it about? Stay tuned!

In the meantime, consider the word perseverance. Ask yourself what it might mean for you to persevere as you await God’s unfolding plans.

We Are All Still Learning…

“Don’t be discouraged. Those people who seem to know exactly what to do in life are wanderers just like you. We are all still learning here.”

Morgan Harper Nichols

Yesterday’s blog suggested that cultivating a life that is both genuinely good and feels good requires slowing down and paying attention. For me, part of my attentiveness is on the scriptures. I believe that this book of God can help me learn what is good in his eyes, and that will give me a better understanding of what a good life for me means. But it takes a long time and a lot of curiosity to actually figure out what the bible is teaching us - at least, that has been true for me.

During a recent Sunday message Scott, our associate pastor, unpacked a passage of scripture in a way that really helped me learn something new. It’s a common passage and I suspect we students of scripture have often missed its point in favor of a misinterpretation that often leads to unintentional shaming or slightly off-the-mark applications of the text to our daily lives.

No temptation has seized you that isn’t common for people. But God is faithful. He won’t allow you to be tempted beyond your abilities. Instead, with the temptation, God will also supply a way out so that you will be able to endure it.

1 Corinthians 10:13 CEB

Historically, and I think with good reason, most of us have focused on the word “temptation” because, well, it is used three times in the passage! But there is a good reason we do not cherry pick verses and try to make a point with them. Like any decent reading, it’s important to look at the context of a word, sentence, paragraph and so on.

Here is what does not make sense if you read this passage in context. This passage does not mean that we should be able to set our mind on losing ten pounds and expect God to block and tackle our way through the inevitable temptations that come our way. It does not make sense to use this passage to blame a person with a compulsion (substance use disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, eating disorder, etc.) for not being about to “just stop”.

Tomorrow, we’ll look at what makes a bit more sense. But for today, consider this: What if we could all embrace the idea that we are all still learning? Would that change how we engage in conversations with folks who do not share our certain way of seeing a subject? Would it help us get more curious about the context and meaning of this text so that we don’t use it to beat ourselves or others up needlessly?

A Life That Feels Good…

“Instead of hustling to build a life that looks good, what if you slowed down and cultivated a life that feels good?”

Erica Layne

Although I appreciate this quote, I think it requires some unpacking. Obviously, building a life that only “looks good” is easy to digest. Describing one’s life as “looking” good but building a life that is not objectively “good” reminds me of fake rings. It sparkles until you wear it for a week and then you end up with a finger that looks like gangrene is setting in.

This morning I had a protein smoothie packed with fruits and vegetables. In a sense, it feels good to swig it down. I know it is nutritious and I love a good smoothie. I “feel” good about making a healthy choice to start my day.

But you know what else FEELS good? An egg Mcmuffin. Specifically - a McDonald’s egg Mcmuffin. Last week I chose to eat one of those after an early morning visit to my doctor to draw blood in preparation of my yearly physical. That hot, crunchy muffin with perfectly melted cheese, egg and Canadian bacon was delish. I LOVED it and it FELT like a little slice of heaven sliding past my lips and into my tummy. This is a once in every five years or so food choice for me. It is not a deadly sin but it is also not the most healthy food choice a human can make.

So we have to beware, don’t we? We have to be careful about how we evaluate “good”. I appreciate Erica’s advice. Slow down. Cultivate a life that is good and feels good. I continue to find satisfaction in my protein smoothies so long as I slow down and pay attention to what really feels good. It feels good to fit into my britches. It feels good to be able to run down the street with my grandchildren. It feels good to have stamina for long days and the occasional short night. It feels good to slow down and figure out how best to take care of the only body my soul has to reside in.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Matthew 11:28-30 The Message