Set Your Expectations Aside…

“Believe in your heart that you’re meant to live a life full of passion, purpose, magic and miracles.”

Roy T. Bennett

Or not. It is also ok to believe that you’re meant to live a quiet life of reasonable happiness. We are all different and alike. We are alike in that when all the cylinders are firing, we have a basic survival instinct, a need for some level of social interaction and a desire for intimate connection. But the LEVEL of need is different for each of us.

I remember when my kids were little and Pete was traveling a lot I envied people who got locked up in solitary confinement. Oh for one day of quiet and time alone! This was also during the season when I believed that a trip alone to the grocery store was tantamount to winning the lottery. I do not mean to disrespect anyone who has actually had to be locked up, I realize that this is cruel and inhumane punishment and I no longer consider trips to the grocery store in my best interest (thanks coronavirus).

When we are at the end of our rope, we often long for things that are totally not in our best interest or even safe. So if the age of pandemics, believing in your heart that you’re meant to live a life full of passion, purpose, magic and miracles - go for it! But if the pressure of having to live a life full of passion, purpose, magic and miracles feels like too much - then it is. Set the expectations aside! Maybe take a nap or go for a walk!

There is No Cure For Being Human

“There are some things you can choose and some you can’t. And it’s ok that life isn’t always getting better... Life is a chronic condition and there is no cure for being human.”

Kate Bowler

There is no cure for being human. There is no cure for being you. Accepting this is not giving up, it’s learning how to live without illusion. I have had a variety of experiences in my life when people have shared with me the nature of my humanity. It has not always been pretty.

Evidently, I can be quite the disappointment. But here’s the thing and I hope we do not miss this point: this is the nature of being human. We are all human beings and we are all, at some point, disappointments.

That is in many ways beside the point.

The point, I think, is to find those people who are with us when we are our most disappointing. Find those people who say, “Yeah, yeah, but you are MY disappointment and I love you to pieces.”

Stop trying to NOT be a disappointment; really, stop it right now. It’s holding us all back from creating a kingdom where God wants to come hang out. (Although he’s God and he’s crazy about us, so even our most disappointing efforts are no match for his mercy.)

Instead, find people who can handle you warts and all. If we find those people? Oh boy - we are at least one foot inside the perimeter of heaven. And hopefully it will teach us how to be that kind of person for others.

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we really are.”

Brené Brown

Find Your “Good Enough”

“One day, after decades of struggle and numbing and wishing myself away, it occurred to me that I could choose to embrace my ‘good enough.’ “

Krista O-Reilly-David-Digui

Do you ever listen to Kate Bowler? If not - go find her podcasts! Diagnosed in her mid-30’s with stage four cancer, Kate Bowler has learned (and is kind enough to tell us) that not everything is fixable.

Some things, a lot of things, most things - at their absolute best - will simply be good enough. Not great. Not awesome. Not amazing. Not awesome. Good enough.

So I say unto you - go find your good enough. And in that good enough place, look for joy!

Permission to Feel Your Feelings…

“Don’t trade your authenticity for approval.”

Unknown

Recently one of my kids had to have a tough conversation with someone they love. My kid shared feelings - big feelings, hurt feelings. This kid is a true McBean, talking about feelings is not really our thing and yet my kid did.

If no one has given you permission to go big with your feelings - here is your chance to receive permission. It is ok to be THAT PERSON. The one who has to say - Hey, I’m feeling very hurt AND I love you - so it makes it a bit harder. Sometimes you have to say that LOUD. And when you do, you will find out who can hold your authenticity. And that is extremely important information.

Find your tribe; the people who give you space to be your saddest, maddest, loneliest self. Find your tribe; the people who love you back. And then you will find the beauty of shared unconditional positive regard - so much better than trying to figure out how to win approval.

Go be you and use that experience to guide you into new insights about who you want to become!

Believing in the Worthiness of All

“A collective sense of worthiness could shake the world.”

Brené Brown

It could, but will it?

I do not mean to sound like a negative Nelly after feeling like a prickly pear just a few days ago, but there you have it. Will we ever collect enough sense of worthiness to shake us awake, much less shake the world?

I do not know.

But I do know two things, tops:

God, for whatever reason, chose us to be part of the shake up. This seems like such a crazy strategic plan, seeing as how courage so often fails us and we are so good at diminishing ourselves and others.

Thing two: God is moving. His pace may feel slow, but his word assures us that his plans will come to fruition. He wants a kingdom where the inherent worth of all is a given, not a cause for alarm or protest.

I’m settling into this idea that I am old enough that I may never see a world shaken by worthiness. But I refuse to abandon the plan. I don’t want to slow the pace down by my own actions. I am fully well aware that I am a small pea in a big pot of peas living on a tiny dot of the timeline of creation. But there is “thing one” and “thing two” to consider.

So for today, I choose to believe in the worthiness of all. And I am going to continue to feel alarmed when anyone’s worth is diminished and do my part to be a voice of dissent when worthiness is not valued for all and by all.

But first, I need a nap. Also something God does not frown on because he knows we are frail and mere mortals. We really do need a discussion with Him about why he feels so strongly that we can be a part of his kingdom coming work!