Observe Yourself…

"Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place."

Zora Neal Hurston

Lately there has been a lot of discussion about the current state of Christianity in our country. Christianity Today is doing a series of podcasts on the debacle of Mark Driscoll and his leadership style as a pastor. It's called "The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill." Don't know him? Here's another example we are all familiar with: the politicizing of evangelical America. Whether or not you are on board with it, many people have many opinions. And then there is that time Jerry Falwell Jr. encouraged students to arm themselves on the campus of a Christian college and quoted scripture (out of complete context) to support his position (which is the mildest example I could think of with him).

These are all very upsetting examples - either because we think they are examples of holiness and the way Christians are getting a bad rap, or because these examples do not sit well with our own perspective on spirituality.

Here is something I think we can agree on: because we bear the image of God (the Bible says so), people ought to be able, at least in theory, to see a bit of the character of God when they experience us. And for sure, love is such a defining characteristic of God, it only makes sense that we would be loving humans.

So try this: Observe yourself. Are you the kind of person that loves so well that people feel safe with you? Do they crawl out from behind their defenses and shields and armor of protection and share their authentic, vulnerable selves with you? I am not talking about being NICE. I'm talking about bearing the image of God! I am thinking about the capacity for treating everyone with respect and positive regard. There is room within this way of seeing for loving confrontation and accountability. There is room for wisdom and discernment.

This is worth thinking about and is far more useful than bantering about our opinions on the Mark Driscolls of the world.

Gratitude

Closing out August with a ton of gratitude. Apologies for all those who I am missing....

While I was lazing around enjoying my vacation, our friends Gala and Carolyn responded to a request for volunteers willing to do some painting at NSC. They did a bang up job and I am extremely extremely grateful. I cannot wait to see how great the new space looks!

It would have been a mistake not to ask for help...but that would have been my inclination. I'm so glad Scott thought to ask! I'm grateful for his willingness to ASK! I am grateful for being on Scott's team NSC - and the fact that he lets me play with my granddaughter Norah!

My friend Debi generously steps up and facilitates Wednesday night women's group when I cannot be there - everyone enjoys her gifted leadership and I receive the gift of not having to find a strong internet connection every time I leave town. Thanks Debi, for my vacation!

We have a team that is working on writing grants to help fund some new adventures at NSC. Thanks to this team and all their hard work to help NSC do its thing.

For Tim and Debi and Anne and others who regularly post on the NSC Community Group page words of encouragement - we hear you and we appreciate you!

Thanks to Jessie and Linda and Anne and others in supporting the work of NSC in ways both large and small - it is all important and it all matters.

To Steve and Brian we give thanks for our return to NSC...to the beat of your wonderful music.

Thanks to Denise and the partners and speakers who allow our Thursday night Friends and Family Education Program to keep bringing support and education to families seeking recovery for those they love. To Walt and

Emily and their commitment to SMART Recovery - we are so grateful!

Our board - we thank you for continuing to help us dream!

And for all you wonderfully supportive Enneagrammers who are helping me learn a new way of servicing - thank you thank you thank you.

For all of you who have hosted and/or attended our Saturday night gatherings - what fun you are to hang with - thank you for sharing yourselves and making Saturday night something to anticipate with pleasure!

As always...a huge shout out to all of you wonderful souls who keep showing up, even when it is inconvenient and NOT your preference. God bless you and yours!

Back to School…

School is back in session for many of our kiddos and the rest will be starting soon. Pray for them, their families, the teachers and support staff. Year two of a pandemic and it surely has been a test of resilience for our educational system.

Today, may we lift up a blessing for them.

Fall can be an opportunity for all of us to reset ourselves and make a fresh start. I think there’s some internal clock in most of us that is engrained from all those years of back-to-school start ups. What could you do to test your own resilience, evaluate you own life and consider making some adjustments as we move toward the last quarter of 2021.

Take a Break!

Do you ever feel under attack? Do you wonder what the world is coming to? For all of us who are paying attention and finding plenty to be concerned about, I offer you this-look around.

Pay attention to the little people in our lives - make sure they see our eyeballs and our smiling faces! No little people in your life? Can you find a way to volunteer or support folks who have lots of littles and maybe could use a break?

Find a way to give back. Not something big or dramatic, that is neither sustainable or necessary. Calls, texts, notes, taking road trips down memory lane - it's all uplifting!

Treat yourself. Sure, we are all aware of the value of eating healthy and exercising but once in a while, enjoy the pure pleasure of an ice cream cone on a hot summer's day or a glass of ice tea in your best crystal!

Rest. Take breaks. Go for a drive. Change your scenery. I love to grab a latte and take a 20 minute drive down by the river in the middle of the day just to reset my compass and clear my mind. Work a puzzle or take up crosswords! Try something new without worrying about being good at it!

Come over and play pickle ball with Pete and I - the net is always up and we are always looking for a good game.

What else could you add to this list? Who could you add to your adventures?

Big T, Little t

We regularly talk about trauma in our community. We define it as either Big T trauma (a one-time cataclysmic event) or Little T trauma (think of it as the steady drip drip drip of being in a non-nurturing environment). These two kinds of trauma make it hard for some of us to recognize that we are experiencing the consequences of living with untreated trauma.

Do you wonder if you might be feeling the effects of trauma? One symptom is feeling different from others. Traumatic experiences (big or little) typically feel surreal. We are likely to minimize or excuse them - especially the Little T traumas. The type of trauma can dictate how an individual feels different or believes that they are different from others. Traumas that generate shame will often leave survivors feeling alienated from others. Feeling bad or fearing that they might behave badly, trauma survivors makes it even more unlikely that they will seek support and healing.

This sneaky trauma response might leave us more brittle and judgmental, or too pliable and people pleasing. Here's my point: it's not enough to just try to behave perfectly or believe flawlessly or better ourselves. We need to give ourselves permission to open up our lens of compassionate self-awareness. Get more curious! Explore the ways our behavior might be more about symptoms than character or competence.

This exploration has been tremendously healing for me; I hope you will consider the possibility that life could get better but the return to joy may require taking the road less traveled.