Making Adjustments

"To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart."

Eleanor Roosevelt

My grandson's kindergarten is very focused on emotional intelligence and relationship connections - which I love so much! They inspire me! But it is possible to become so attached to an emotional experience that we fail to address questions related to what is working well and connecting with people around what they feel confident about. I appreciate how they told the parents to watch out for back-to-school meltdowns BUT it was also helpful when they reminded the parents what the kids needed to bring in their backpacks!

It's all a great balancing act!

Could this be you? Are you in balance with your head, heart and body? Anything need an adjustment?

Using Your Power for Good

"The mark of a great man is one who knows when to set aside the important things in order to accomplish the vital ones."

Brandon Sanderson

My highly successful, hard charging friends amaze me. Their focus on their goals, their ability to create an image that is attractive and inspiring, and their capacity for efficiency and multi-tasking is awe-inspiring. Until it isn't. When taken too far these amazing achievers lose sight of their own goals, their own heart, their own desires. This can become a lonely existence and these folks often feel like they will die if they stop achieving. For balance, these folks need to look for their values and try to make more heart connections with the people that they are influencing - because trust me, these folks are influential!

Could this be you? Is it time to evaluate whether your power is used for good...or not?

Adjust Your Nice-O-Meter

"I cannot give you a formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure, which is: Try to please everybody."

Herbert Bayard Swope

In a recent Sunday message, Scott differentiated between "nice" and "loving" - I thought it was a great distinction. For influencers who are tempted to always be "nice", who are especially gifted at creating rapport between people and focus almost exclusively on relationships - there is a downside. These folks often shy away from addressing problems, handling conflict and making tough calls because others will express displeasure. I suppose it is good to be nice to a point, but there are limitations that often lead us to actually fail to love other well when we care more about what they think of us than doing the right and good and true thing.

Could this be you? Are you a people pleasure? How could you adjust your nice-o-meter?

The Importance of Emotional Intelligence…

"A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don't necessarily want to go but ought to be."

Rosalynn Carter

Bless Rosalynn Carter's little heart. I bet she understands how difficult this is to practice in real life.

For influencers who are often confident of the best, most perfect way to achieve a goal, their focus on quality and rules and structure can make it difficult for them to exert influence - even when they are correct! These influencers need to also engage with people's emotions, learn how to find empathy, passion and make personal connections. It doesn't much matter how right we are if no one will listen to us.

Could this be you? How could you improve your emotional intelligence so that you can be more influential?

Our Strengths Can Be Our Weaknesses

"Consensus: the process of abandoning all beliefs, principles, values, and policies in search of something in which no one believes, but to which no one objects; the process of avoiding the very issues that have to be solved, merely because you cannot get agreement on the way ahead. What great cause would have been fought and won under the banner: 'I stand for consensus?'"

Margaret Thatcher

When our health insurance provider cancelled our insurance on the day I had an expensive medical test, my patient beloved spouse rose above his limitations to advocate for the company to take responsibility and fix the problem they created. This required him to go against his natural inclination to listen to others and accommodate their points of view.

When the customer service representative told him to call his human resources department, Pete went against his natural inclination to not act decisively and advocate for his own agenda. Now, it's not like we need to bring out a band to celebrate his tenacity - we do not have a human resources department at Northstar Community - which helped Petestand firm.

The point is this: our strengths can also be our weaknesses. Could this be you? What strengths do you have that are also your weaknesses?