The Journey
“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”
Ursula K. Le Guin
Almost 21 years ago we entered into this crazy adventure of starting a recovery ministry with a team of awesome people. I was ambivalent about upending our routines for this new thing but totally committed to its vision - providing a bridge for folks to travel between recovery and faith. Two decades ago it was harder, I think, to mix one’s recovery with one’s faith experience. Maybe I’m wrong but it feels like to me that this is less an issue today than it was in the 90’s.
As a pilot project it was easy to not get overly focused on goals. This was helpful. Goals can sometimes create needless pressures and even side-track us if our goal setting is unrealistic or off target. We talked about helping “one person” as a worthy goal. That’s about as far as we went. Eventually we had to give up our illusion that the pilot project was short term and would soon allow us to return to our less complicated lives.
Over the years my sense of the journey has changed. I see the bridge less clearly. That early goal was driven by the needs of the day. Today, it feels more like a path we trod through desert and deep forest, up and down hills, “on up the mountain” to quote Jakob Dylan.
There is an intuition I have today that sings a song and gently tugs at my heart. It’s less about the objectives and more about the courage to keep going, even when the way seems dark and uncertain. I look back over 21 years and recognize the naivete in daring to think that we had much understanding of the implications of starting a new thing. My life, our lives as a family and community, is better served by not getting too caught up in focusing on the end of the journey. The naive woman who dared to think she knew what the future would hold has been wrong on so many fronts that my crystal ball has been confiscated.
I like goals. They are helpful, especially for the small stuff. But goals are not as helpful as a full on commitment to the journey. As it relates to the big stuff? I think that’s often the ego chattering away in an effort to distract us from the reality of how difficult the journey was, is and will be as we keep walking, one step at a time.
It’s awesome to have a sense of how we can be a part of something bigger than ourselves. But it is wisdom that guides us to hold lightly to our convictions about the destination and take our responsibility for how we travel very seriously.
How is your journey going? Are your intentions tugging at you? Is the kind of person you want to be applying the brakes gently on your desires to succeed, excel, and influence the world around you? It is always a good use of time to self-reflect and notice where we are giving ourselves permission to behave in ways that do not really fit our desire to be a better human.
