Holding the Truth Gently…

In my first meeting with my new therapist, the one I hoped would keep me out of the hospital, she told me that I had no clue what self-compassion was, and I needed to learn. She's a straight shooter! Honestly, this was news to me.

She pointed out patterns I had of making excuses for the bad behavior of others and calling that compassion. According to her, that's not compassion. Compassion is the ability to hold the truth...gently. If we do not do it for ourselves, we will never grasp how to do it with others.

Diligent practice of self-compassion lowers stress hormones and improves mood. Self-compassion that results in self-forgiveness is associated with greater physical and mental well-being.

None of this diminishes our motivation, although people fear that outcome. We seem to think that if we're not being hard on ourselves, maybe we'll go all soft and stop trying. This is NOT true.

If self-compassion feels like a bridge too far, how about starting with lovingkindness towards others?