Confronting Unpleasant Reality

For a month’s worth of posts, I (Scott) am critiquing my own past blog posts. I’m viewing this as an experiment in being willing to admit when I’m wrong, change my mind, and to do so publicly.

An outburst is a sign that we need help, but people generally don't experience outbursts that way.  It tends to be that people on the receiving end of an outburst see the person who "outbursted" as a person to avoid.  

In other words, living unconsciously sets us up for rather severe consequences.  We blow up as an unconscious reaction to unpleasant realities and these tantrums create the opportunity for isolation.

It is never easy to confront an unpleasant reality, and that is why we develop extensive defense mechanisms that protect us from its effects.  We may need that for a time, but if we refuse to confront whatever the difficult circumstance is forever then we continue to perpetuate a cycle of harm done from unconscious living.  

But, perhaps more importantly, we will not know ourselves and others will not have the opportunity to know us or walk alongside us in the midst of difficult times.  If we're content to react to whatever is beneath our surface unconsciously then we miss the opportunity to listen to ourselves, deal with pain, share the pain, and find community.

New me vs. Old me:

I don’t really disagree with this post- though I would highlight in a more obvious way a really complicated push-pull dynamic in life when it comes to trying to manage our own reactivity. Yes, on the one hand, it’s important to find ways to regulate ourselves so that people enjoy being around us (or have the potential to). On the other hand, wouldn’t it be nice if we could all be gracious with and to one another when we’re struggling? 

We need both.

Day 31: God's Hospitality

Many, many years ago my daughter was dating the nicest young man. One night he came and ate dinner with our family. Perhaps this seemed like torture for him, but we all liked him so much that it was a great treat for us! Our youngest son was a little guy at that time, and he eagerly took the seat next to his new best friend. We made it through the blessing without incident, and then we politely passed the food around the table (the way you serve food when guests are present). All seemed to go according to plan until our youngest, eager to be a big guy, tried to serve himself. You’ve no doubt had a situation like this: you see a disaster developing, and you’re frozen. You can’t move or speak. I watched in horrified fascination as Michael dug deeply into the bowl of rice. It was kind of sticky, and he tried to muscle it out with both hands on the serving spoon. As if in slow motion, I saw the spoon lift from the bowl, and the rice went flying—right onto our guest, landing deftly in his shirt pocket. Does one laugh or cry at times like these? Calm as a cucumber, our guest continued to pass food. I don’t even remember him giving the far-flung rice a moment’s notice. You gotta love a guest like that!

In our family lore, the rice incident represents an attempt by both host and guest to show hospitality. Perhaps it went a little awry, but the intent was clear. In biblical times, it was an act of hospitality to anoint a guest’s head with oil. Today if you try it, you might get in trouble! But back in the day, it would be an act of disrespect not to anoint one’s guest. Anointing literally means to “make fat” or “richly bathed”—all good things in those days. (Again, I do not recommend trying to fatten or bathe guests in modern-day times! I am not sure if rice counts.)

Have you ever considered the fact that you live on a planet on which you are a guest? You are invited by God Himself. Everything you experience in the way of provision is at the hands of the Good Shepherd—the ultimate host with the most. Gravity, temperature, water supply, oxygen levels, food—all is provided for us in exactly the right levels so that we can thrive.

So don’t be misled, my dear brothers and sisters. Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession.

James 1: 16-18 NLT

It seems to me that during this season of isolation, maybe there are clumsy ways we can still be hospitable to one another. We can find a way to be gracious. What do you think you could do to contribute to the pool of lovingkindness God so wants us all to swim in?