Weekly Blog

Tips, Tricks, Skills, Spirituality and Wisdom

Teresa McBean 12/9/17 Teresa McBean 12/9/17

Injured in Battle

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My job title can be a burden. I observe two inclinations in strangers who find out that I serve as a pastor: they back up or lean in. I prefer the leaning in response. Paired with our laser focus on spirituality AND recovery at NSC, the “leaning inners” often tell me some really great stories. One storyline troubles me. It’s the storyline that recounts how a loved one does not believe in God. I’m not sure the response the “leaner” is looking for, but historically I suspect I’ve been a disappointment in my response to them. In response to this consistent message, I have acquired a personal perspective on the subject matter of lost sheep.

It is far more important to understand God’s perspective on his sheep than it is to know the opinions of the sheep. I could support this perspective with any number of biblical references regarding wandering sheep and their tireless faithful shepherds. We could talk about how God has been compared to a shepherd in the bible at least 33 times – give or take a few due to my poor counting abilities. Instead, I want to talk about someone who just might have fit into our community at NSC. His name was Jacob.

He was one of those stars in the lineage of Abraham and he was one tricky trickster. He used the favoritism of his mother toward him to help him trick his brother out of his portion of his inheritance. Many biblical accounts support the idea that Jacob was a man with defects of character. But his greatest weakness – a stubborn propensity to passionately want and take what he wants out of life – turned out to be a strength in the story I want us to focus on today.

In Genesis 32 Jacob is once again in the midst of a scheme. He’s preparing to meet Esau, his twin that he cheated and who he hasn’t seen in years because Jacob fled the scene post con. He’s gotten in trouble with the family he married into while in exile and is returning home. It really is a story worthy of your reading! Trust me on this – Jacob is pretty ruthless in his intent to preserve his own hide. Then there is this weird wrestling with God story. Ultimately, we find out he is actually wrestling with God, and he refuses to let go of God until God blesses him. He received both a blessing and a torn muscle that resulted in a permanent limp.

I don’t know what to make of this story but to say this: God is in the business of blessing people. He isn’t interested only in perfect people; he is willing to wrestle with ALL people. That willingness is a consideration when we are doing our own wrestling – over both dark inclinations and our holy humanity. When people tell me that their loved one doesn’t believe in God and imply that this somehow is connected with their addiction issues or poor choices, I generally respond like this, “Don’t you think it is at least as important to remember that God loves your kid/niece/spouse as it is to focus on what your loved one indicates about their opinion of God?” I think it matters. I’d encourage you to be gentle with yourself and others in the God department. Disappointed in yourself? OK. Go wrestle with what to do. But remember that the seat of power is God’s (not ours) and he’s crazy about you.

Teresa McBean 12/8/17 Teresa McBean 12/8/17

The wreckage of our past

The story started out so well. The lovely garden, Adam and Eve immediately given the job title of CEO of the earth – no working their way up through the ranks like a lot of my friends have had to do! Three chapters in and we move from a “very good” God and evening strolls through the garden with the crowning glory of his creation to Adam and Eve hiding behind fig leaves filled with shame.

God’s response? Consequences. Every character in the tragic play that we have come to call “The Fall” received a consequence. Banishment from the garden forced Adam and Eve out – a tragic demotion. But here’s the thing – God went with them. It reminds me of this verse:

We all have to die—we’re like water spilled out on the ground that can’t be gathered up again. But God doesn’t take life away; instead, he makes plans so those banished from him don’t stay that way.

~ 2 Samuel 14:14 CEB

God confirms the value of delivering consequences AND he never delivers them for the purpose of breaking relationship. Instead, it is so that relationships might be repaired, restored, people might be healed, conflicts resolved.

Here are a few things that I think are reasonable principles to consider:

· God is good at healthy detachment; he is not advocating for withdrawal from relationships, harsh punishment delivered capriciously, or shaming.

· Consequences have the potential to assist us in developing our character.

· God remains present even as he allows for consequences to play out.

It makes good sense for us to consider how God loves us and relates to us so that we might consider how this might impact our own relationships choices.

Teresa McBean 12/7/17 Teresa McBean 12/7/17

Embrace your crazy

Abraham and Sarah weren’t the only couple in the scriptures who struggled with infertility. Zechariah and Elizabeth did as well. Infertility, like other misunderstood health issues, was viewed back in the day as a judgment from God.

Honorable folks, Zechariah and Elizabeth didn’t end up responding to their suffering with the same crazy antics that Abraham and Sarah had; they seemed to accept their lot in life.

But then an angel showed up and that was a game changer.

His message was a simple one – God was going to give them a son who would ultimately have a specific and crucial role in the grand epic narrative of Israel’s history. We know him as John the Baptist. He heard the stories of signs and wonders, after all, his very existence was one of those tales.

John was a good kind of crazy; a contemplative by practice, a minimalist by today’s standards. These decisions were made to prepare himself for his call. Eventually he left his solitary lifestyle and began to preach and baptize converts. He was a compelling messenger although a confusing one and the religious leaders wanted to know: who is this dude? The priests didn’t recognize what seems so obvious in hindsight – OF COURSE God would work like this.

It’s so easy to wonder what’s wrong with those forgetful priests, men whose jobs included telling the story of God and his people so as to constantly remind the tribe of their calling to bless others. But wait. Don’t we forget too?

I do. I forget all the time that it isn’t my job to succeed, even if I am defining success in a way that I am absolutely convinced would make God smile. I desperately want to succeed at things I think we would all support – effective interventions, restoration of families, spiritual awakenings and transformation of individuals, communities, and the world. But all that, as good as it sounds, is forgetfulness. What is my/our work to remember? That we are to do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with God. I can participate in all of that as a failure. I can preach incoherently and still do justice, love mercy and easily walk in humility/humiliation! I can utterly fail at helping a family get help and still do justice, love mercy and walk humbly. Me, my marriage, my kids and my extended family can go to hell in a handbasket and still do justice, love mercy and walk humbly. And the cool thing is this is true for all of us! Tomorrow we will talk about how we might improve our memory.

Teresa McBean 12/6/17 Teresa McBean 12/6/17

Where the Wild Things Are

Although the road was circuitous and much misbehaving happened from start to finish Abraham’s descendants eventually did flourish like the stars. Eventually. But at any pin prick point in time, Abraham and Sarah were a mess.

Yesterday I suggested that all glory and no guts is not the story the bible tells. Even though there’s tons of glory (which we all love). Before we get too hopped up on miraculous signs and wonders, heed the words of Jesus: “Unless you see miraculous signs and wonders, you won’t believe.” John 4:48, CEB.

We can argue over whether this was Jesus taking a shot at someone, or Jesus gently correcting, or Jesus just telling the truth. But there is no argument over the gist of the quote. Jesus isn’t a fan of a big show of religiosity or loving God in the hopes he will show you a shooting star. He aligns himself with his Father: do justice, embrace faithful love…walk humbly with your God. BECAUSE GOD IS GOD…not for trinkets and magic show tricks.

I consider this as I stand at the edge of the fight and consider my options with the lightning fast processing of a big a** computer – or maybe an iphone. I am NOT going to get in the middle of all that shouting nonsense. I am not responsible for changing someone else. I am able to think creatively. Just because I can think of 100 things I want to do but probably shouldn’t doesn’t mean there isn’t anything to be done. And then, like a shooting star, it comes to me. I spin around and rush back to my car, throwing open the back hatch, and thank my lucky shooting stars that I am messy and I hoard books I love. I rifle through the Target bags and dig under the area rug that I must return this week. I toss aside my bible and my big book. I ignore my grandson’s pretty blue sweater that I have been looking for going on ages – will it still fit him? And there, shining like two little beacons of light I find them. Two freshly minted mostly undamaged books of “Braving the Wilderness” by Brene Brown, her latest publication which I have already read cover-to-cover FOUR times. She has some language in there about politics and people and conflict and bravery that are just so good. I grab them, slam the trunk, and return to the scene of what I think is a crime. And I say, as calmly as a person can who knows she might be called crazy in two minutes, “Excuse me. I have a gift for each of you.” Gifts are always something that create a pause. I stand between them and have just enough room to extend my arms and hand each of them the book. I say, “I hope this helps your suffering.” And then I walk back to my car and drive off.

I totally forget to vote.

I don’t know if this was good or bad or right or wrong or just crazy. I do know it was so upsetting that I had to go home and sit for 15 minutes to calm down before going BACK to vote. I just hope it helps. I hope it is more reflective of doing justice, loving faithfully, and humbly walking than my frozen state of non-doing last year. Of course, if you see these two guys yukking it up on Facebook about how that crazy old lady with the really cool boots did that totally insane book giveaway which effectively caused them to stop their public disagreement and what a nut job she was, please don’t judge her. She was trying to be brave.

Teresa McBean 12/5/17 Teresa McBean 12/5/17

Glory and Guts

With what should I approach the Lord
        and bow down before God on high?
Should I come before him with entirely burned offerings,
        with year-old calves?
7 Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams,
        with many torrents of oil?
Should I give my oldest child for my crime;
        the fruit of my body for the sin of my spirit?
8 He has told you, human one, what is good and
        what the Lord requires from you:
            to do justice, embrace faithful love, and walk humbly with your God.

~ Micah 6:5-8 CEB

That night at Laity Lodge a group of us huddled in the parking lot hoping for a miraculous sign. Like a shooting star. We got not one, but several. Oh happy day! We appropriately celebrated, counting our lucky stars and even remembering to thank God for his glorious works. So yes, there is glory to be had.

But then Pete and I returned to our ultra-modern, super comfy, fancy digs and I complained about a particular person who got on my ever-loving last nerve. Woe is me.

The glow of glory fades so fast. Maybe it’s just me, but if I am sustained only because by signs and wonders, I’m not going to persevere in my faith. I’m going to burnout much like those shooting stars. For onlookers, a shooting star is tantamount to a miraculous sighting, especially for folks who live in suburbia and rarely see more than a small sample of what the skies hold each night. From the star’s perspective, it represents its last hurrah – rapidly moving through the sky as it enters the earth’s atmosphere, burning up as it displays its glorious plumage of wreckage while we mere mortals clap and cheer.

Thanks be to God that he demonstrates himself not only in the glory but in the guts of simply taking the next right step. I step out of my car, head toward the voting booths and freeze as I witness the shouting match. I watch the five little guys display various responses to their fathers’ bad behaving. Mostly they look scared but a couple are nervously giggling. In a split second I wonder if they are embarrassed or if this will turn into a tall tale about how my dad can beat up your dad. And I think that for times such as this, we all need adult supervision.