Jesus’ Certain Way of Seeing

I have a really good friend who changes churches every few years. Me being me, I find this so interesting. "Why do you do that?" I asked.

"I like the feeling of being new." She replies.

"New?" I do not understand.

"I like being the new person, getting the goodies, having people go out of their way to greet me and make me feel at home!" Wow. This would have never occurred to me.

Aren't people so interesting? I never want to be the new girl. I grew up being the new girl-different states, towns, cities and schools. I hated that. My big dream was to grow up and know the names of the people who checked out my groceries. I wanted my youngest child to hear, "Oh, you're a McBean!" (He was not so enamored with this.) I loved it that a substitute teacher at James River High School once taught both me and my husband and she loved to point this out to my kids. (I believe, rightfully so, that she gets a little credit for their existence.) I want to be the girl people know so well that no one is startled if I show up without make-up wearing sweatpants. I want people to take me for granted and ask me to unplug the clogged toilet - but that's just me.

My friend has a different take on life. Her life is more meaningful if she is finding new experiences; I find meaning in the comfort of feeling a part of history - connected, tied down, anchored. Jesus had a particular take on how he defined meaning in life too, one that was at odds with his best friends Mary and Martha. Tomorrow's blog will dive into the day Jesus was their biggest disappointment.

Jesus Died so That We Would Have More Wheat

"The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. Those who love their life will lose it, while those who hate their life in this world will keep it for eternal life."

John 12:23-24 NIV

I will never communicate this with the clarity of Barbara Brown Taylor through her sermon "Unless a Grain Falls" in her book Teaching Sermons on Pain, but here goes....

When I was a little girl, my grandparents' very southern Baptist preacher drilled into my head that it was my fault Jesus died. That's a lot for a seven year old to handle. But according to him, Jesus had to die because my sins needed to be atoned for. This made sense to me, because the previous fall my mother had taken me and my three younger brothers to Kmart to buy school supplies. While there I found the most beautiful jewel-toned pen. It was the kind that came with ink cartridges and had an amazing silver tip. I begged my mother for this pen. I promised all sorts of acts of service to earn the money for this pen. She said no. I stole it.

My life as a thief was short-lived because it did not net me decent results. You see, this pen was so perfect, so magical, so....charming, that one of the kids at school stole it from me. I told the teacher and she couldn't figure out who was telling the truth. So she told me to have my mother write a note and offer proof that this was my pen. The other kid, it seems, was innocent until proven guilty. The problem was, I could not acquire said note unless I confessed my own thieving ways - and no way could I do that! The following summer when I heard the preacher wax on about how I had killed Jesus, the guilt and shame was overwhelming. It replaced my bitterness at losing my precious pen to the class bully. Suddenly, the pen felt like a sword I had unintentionally used to carve up God's son.

But according to Taylor, who got her information from John, "Jesus died to fill the world with wheat, with so many sons and daughters of God that no one would ever want for read again. Only in order to do that, the seed had to be planted. It had to die, or it would never grow." (p. 64, Teaching Sermons on Pain)

Jesus had a choice. He could have given into temptation and ridden the wave of popularity. A few more resurrections like he pulled off with Lazarus and Jesus would have been set for life. But it would not have been enough to sustain God's message so that it would reach us and renew us in 2021. Jesus' choice taught us that death is not the end nor is the worst thing that could happen to a person. Jesus taught us that suffering is not something we should (or could) avoid. Jesus narrated his own death story in such a way as to prove to us that God is not mad at us nor is he still demanding live sacrifices to please his hungry, thirsty quest for self-satisfaction. (As if God needs us to give him stuff!)

Jesus was never moved off his trajectory - to love his father and do his will. Jesus showed us that suffering can be endured and redeemed. Jesus invited us to follow him and offer whatever we have to give - the smallest seed - to God, to see what he might do with it.

I am so curious - what would suffering within the context of following God's call mean for you?

A Strange Way to Get the Word Out

When dead people spring back to life it causes quite a stir. Lazarus and his story was drawing a LOT of attention to Jesus. Crowds were flocking in to the Festival and Jesus was a popular Hebrew man that foreigners were intrigued by. The authorities, interested in grasping hold of power and maintaining their power structure did not like this. In John 12:19 (NIV) they show their hand, "See, this is getting us nowhere. Look how the whole world has gone after him!"

In response, Jesus declares that suffering will be his hallmark and road back to redemption. This is his reply to a request for a meet up with some of his fans. "The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. Those who love their life will lose it, while those who hate their life in this world will keep it for eternal life." John 12:23-24 NIV

His disciples did not realize it then, but now, in hindsight, if we have eyes to see and ears to hear, we see it. Jesus is offering us a choice. Jesus was having a moment of popularity; he was also clear about his choices. He was saying, look guys, if you love your life here and are committed to its success, this is what you get. But if you hate your life, in the sense that you hate all the ways we are swayed by popularity, prosperity and people pleasing...if you hate that? Start chasing God. That is the path to true abundance. And it is super hard. Even for Jesus.

"Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!"

John 12:27 NIV

Jesus is troubled. Maybe Jesus is even tempted to go be the big man in the community. But Jesus is a guy who made his choice in the calm of choosing his calling and sticks by it even when it looks like a big failure and in the midst of impending chaos.

What choices do you need to make now, during a calm moment in your life that you will be asked to commit to even when things get rough in the future? This needs to be carefully thought out my dear friends. This is not a decision to take lightly. As Jesus said, "Count the cost." It will be high.

A Certain Kind of Suffering

When it comes to suffering, we need to be careful to clarify that we are NOT called to suffer as Jesus did - please never confuse the suffering that the world endures as somehow equivalent. Suffering that is not chosen - famine, genocide, racial discrimination, sexual abuse - is not redemptive in any way. But in this instance, Jesus had a choice and he chose the path of suffering not as a goal, but as a by-product.

This is a specific kind of suffering. His goal was not to suffer as if that was some kind of badge of honor. His goal was to be the man who God created him to be - regardless the cost. This clarifies my own relationship with suffering - a bit. Here are a few questions I ask myself when faced with my own suffering:

1. Is this suffering mine to do? In other words, have I chosen this suffering as a way to align with my core values or has it been foisted upon me? Basically, I am asking a question to figure out what KIND of suffering I am enduring. Redemptive suffering as a result of following God's call to right action, unjust suffering at the hands of a situation or person outside my control, or suffering as a result of poor choices - otherwise known as consequences - which is it?

2. Is this suffering a decision I, and I alone, have made as a reflection of what/who I love more than my own life? This is a rare decision, but I suppose it can also be seen on a spectrum. I might choose to parent a child with a substance use disorder differently than my natural maternal tendencies if I am taught that my natural way of doing something is counter-productive for my child's healing. This will create inner tension and suffering because I am going against my instincts - but this is an honorable choice. I might choose to be a friend to someone who does not treat me as a friend. This would be a choice, a decision to sacrifice my own desire for friendship with this person in service to my value of loving people even when they don't love me back. (Oh so much more to say about this...but that's for another day. This would need to be a carefully thought out and prayed over decision. We do not need anymore martyrs in the world!)

3. How does this suffering contribute to the kingdom of God coming to earth? So much of our suffering is self-imposed or misguided. It is, as Will Willimon is famous for saying, important that an "outside agency" is in play in our decision making. We need to make sure that our "shadow self" - the self-deception, blindspots and other ways we are not self-aware - is not "tricking" us into making choices that are unhealthy and poorly boundaries.

How might your relationship with suffering change in light of these ideas?

Not So Fast!

Technically we are still in the season of Easter and I continue to be obsessed with thoughts about both Christ's crucifixion and his resurrection. What does it all me for us, today? I know what I have heard; I continue to read and reread the scriptures....but what does it mean right now for me as an individual and our community? What difference does it make, what beliefs, thoughts, feelings and actions does it change for us today in real time?

As far as I can tell, John 12 is the most thorough recounting of what Jesus had to say about his own death. It also gives us a glimpse into the thought life of Judas - which has resulted in endless speculation over the years since. You'll remember that in the beginning of the chapter Lazarus (recently raised from the dead) and his sisters had Jesus over for dinner in their home. Martha served. Mary came in and anointed and massaged Jesus' feet with a pricey jar of aromatic oils - and Judas complained about the expenditure, suggesting that this money would have been better spent on the poor.

John does not leave us to wonder about the motivations of Judas because he adds, "He (meaning Judas) said this not because he cared two cents about the poor but because he was a thief. He was in charge of their common funds, but also embezzled them." (John 12:6, The Message). This clears up any confusion we might have about the motivations of Judas!

Jesus rebukes Judas and explains Mary's actions like this: "Let her alone. She's anticipating and honoring the day of my burial. You will always have the poor with you. You don't always have me." Ouch. Again, John 12:7-8, The Message

Here is what we know: Jesus is not clueless. He understands what is about to go down. "She's anticipating and honoring the day of my burial." He is also capable of prioritizing values within the framework of context. Jesus time and again teaches us to care for the marginalized, the neglected, the downtrodden, the imprisoned. And. He continues to need to guide his disciples and those who love him into the light. Jesus is not 'cause' driven so much as he is committed to his relationship with God, his father. And. He has choices.

He could choose to consider his own impact so vital that he does what it takes to hold onto his life and public ministry OR he could continue to remain faithful to the message his father asked him to deliver. We know what he chose.

I personally love that God breathes life into dry, dead bones. But this harder truth is still true - God also asks us to sacrifice, lay down our life for a friend, take the road less traveled. In a world that increasingly values individualism and loving those who agree with us, how can we ignore the road Jesus chose? He suffered. He suffered for people who were not willing to join him in suffering. Lazarus, who kept dipping his fingers into the offering plate. The crowd who chose to crucify Christ over the thief; his followers who shrunk back in fear once Jesus' fate became apparent. Peter, who for all his bravado ultimately denied Jesus three times. This is not who "they" are, this is who "we" are.

What's our next move?