This is Not Suffering…This is Whining

Suffering is a great killer of faith. For people who are not only used to suffering but can also not avoid it? They perhaps handle it better. But for those of us who are reasonably comfortable? I wonder if we have gotten too out of touch with reality. I notice an awful lot of people acting like suffering should not exist at all.

Take me for instance. I ordered this piece of furniture on January 1, 2021. The handy email receipt told me to expect delivery on March 1st. I would have preferred it in January - but ok, I think, I can be flexible. I am a reasonable person; I realize that we are in the first year of a pandemic and I know that history teaches us that pandemics last two years. I can wait until March.

March and April come and go but still I do not have my piece of furniture. Estimated time of arrival? End of May. I start complaining about this as if it is a hardship. It is not. It is an expected result in the middle of a pandemic.

We humans have been complaining about our suffering since the beginning of time. God couldn't work fast enough to get Eve created and handed over to Adam. He did not need a single dating app or dating ritual - God just provided. Still with the complaining. One tree out of a whole garden off limits? Those two could not bear it. They had to nibble at its fruit. You know the rest of the story.

Ending suffering is a worthy cause. I spend parts of every day praying and pondering - how can we do more to end the suffering of families struggling with the epidemic of substance use disorder? If I had a magic wand, I would wave it.

But waiting on a piece of furniture is not suffering, it's called waiting. Suffering is when I think I am too special to have to wait - which reminds me too much of my toddler grandchildren who at least have age as an excuse for their need for immediate cookie gratification. A garden full of delicious offerings with one lousy tree considered out-of-bounds is not suffering, it's called denial of limitations. I confess that today I realize that if my sideboard never arrives, I'm still one blessed human.

Suffering for Freedom

Jesus was not an ideal god - he suffered for things he did not do and was punished for loving too much. Our world is built on knowing who has the power and making sure we get some; Jesus turns that all upside down and says the last shall be first.

Terri and Tom C. are raising money for scholarships for the Threshold (a new venture for our little community); many of you have supported those efforts and have beautiful stained glass objects of art or gorgeous candle holders to prove it. All are beautiful. But what looked an awful lot like Jesus to me was the picture Terri posted in our NSC fb group - her fingers after all that working. Scratched and dented puts it mildly. Now look, Terri will not like me calling attention to this, so I may need to make her some brownies, but it is the best example I can imagine of what we've been talking about in the last few blogs. Terri loves doing her art, it's part of her giftedness and she loves this place and she likes to support it any way she can BUT she suffers too for the effort. Owen M. and the other drivers who staff the van to pick up our friends from The Healing Place, have to get up super early to do this job. I call out Owen in particular because he lives so far out on a piece of land that resembles a slice of heaven - his commute is epic. I could go on and on with the examples of the things so many of you do to serve and support our community. But it involves suffering. It's ok to acknowledge that - in fact, we should talk about it more so that suffering becomes an expectation, not something we all seek to avoid like the coronavirus.

I just want to say this to all of you who suffer for the benefit of another person - you're doing ok. The suffering is not a sign that something is wrong, it is an indication that something is right in a world that gets it wrong most of the time. You'll be a weirdo. Most people won't get you. But if you are suffering to benefit another, way to go. Jesus and those who follow him lose more than they win, but what they gain we cannot put a price on - a partnership with God, true freedom.

So we run this world our way...and for folks who want to be faithful to God's vision - we try to run it his way - in keeping with his vision. What do we need to change in order to do a better job of not just wanting to do it his way - but following through on that vision?

What if You’re Wrong?

Jesus showed us that we need to open our minds to think differently (the parables are all written to shock the listener into a new way of seeing, or what about when Jesus said, "you heard it said but I say unto you"...), we need to make different choices (love your enemy he said, visit Samaria he encouraged, love God more than your family is suggested, etc.), that we need to not just assume a feeling is a fact (fear not the angels keep telling us)... We need to get way more curious about things we believe we are right about and the things we think others are wrong about.

Here's my favorite question I hate to ask myself, "What if I am wrong?"

I'd suggest that each of us take a thought, belief, feeling or action that we THINK we are right about and turn it on its head. Let's ask ourselves - what if we are wrong? Go looking for the counter-position. Study it. See what you can learn. But remember - we have to be willing to start from the position of possibly wrong, not a defensive position of condescension.

Cheer With Your Friends

In a dog-eat-dog world, everyone fights for the table scraps. This is not a new thing; this is not an example of American capitalism run amok. It is actually quite ancient, a deep commitment by the inner reaches of our brain to keep us safe and. help the species survive. Our longest running skill sets stem from our competitive need to survive and compete for resources.

This instinct translates inappropriately (not at all beneficially) to all sorts of ways we categorize and complete with an us versus them mentality. We compete in every area of our lives instinctively. You are either a Cowboys fan or a Washington fan. You cheer for UVA or Tech - no exceptions allowed.

Jesus said something different, if I might paraphrase. He said, if you're friend loves the Cowboys, cheer with your friend. If you friend loves UVA, cheer with your friend. And vice versa. When the Cowboys play Washington, or UVA plays Tech, maybe do not tempt yourself by watching the game together. But whoever loses? Text your friend at the end and say, "Nice game." (We make these concessions because we are human and everyone has their limits.). Man, we struggle to do this, right?! How the HECK are we ever going to reconcile this both/and kind of vision Jesus had when it comes to dealing with political and religious differences if it is almost impossible to do so in the sports arena?

Well, I'd like to suggest that we practice suffering. Not because we need to be punished or make a wrong right, but because suffering, it seems, will be necessary if we are going to run this place the way God wants us to. Now, this is not easy. There are not many examples for us to follow. But there is Jesus.

Tomorrow we will talk more about Jesus as a good man and not so good a god (again, this is a Barbara Brown Taylor thought). For now, what if you were willing to apply the above example in your daily life? I'd love to know what that experience is like for you if you dare try it!

Jesus Shows the Way

Jesus was a good man but he was not such a good god (according to Barbara Brown Taylor) if you compare him to all the gods that came before him. He was not big and strong and demanding that his followers feed his ego. He was like no other god before him - a suffering one.

So let's make a note of that right off the top: we have freedom which gives us liberty but it does not give us license to do whatever feels good. We have the freedom to choose but our choices are boundaried ones. And they cause suffering.

Just because something is technically legal doesn't mean that it's spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I'd be a slave to my whims.

1 Corinthians 6:12 The Message

Here's why: we are conditioned to think, feel and act in ways that are contrary to what John the Baptist came preaching and Jesus modeled. John the Baptist preached repentance - not out of guilt or shame, but his was a liberation theology - you can be saved from your old life and receive a new one. This assumes of course that our old lives are unsatisfactory. And I see no reason to think that has changed much.

Our survival instincts, long bred within us cry out for the same characteristics ancient mankind attributed to their gods - strength and power and domination. But Jesus did not come to appeal to our lowest instincts, he came to call us to our highest potential - a whole brain experience. He came to transform the world by loving it, not controlling it. Which, interestingly enough, models the same thing God modeled. Here's the thing I will never understand about God. He chose to enter into a partnership with humanity by inviting us to be part of running the world. He did not make us start at the bottom of the pyramid and work our way up into a position of worthiness. Straight after creating Adam and Eve, he says - "Here, run the place." (Genesis 1 - 3 gives us a good look at God's big idea and the rocky launch his concept endured.)

Most of the time it seems that it is more natural for us to run the world based on preferences, on finding a pattern that our brain can accept - us and them. This is our survival instinct - and it looks different for different people. At our house we play team game tag, which basically means Pops and Christian and Norah against Meme. Pops has a great self-preservation instinct, he's always ahead of the kids. Others among us think our survival depends on finding our one true love - who completes us - or finding a group we can belong to who will keep us safe. However our instincts define survival, we are well practiced at it; this has unintended consequences.

What happens when our fears and insecurities cause us to over-react in a frenzy for survival? What happens when we see danger lurking around every corner? Stay tuned.